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Posts Tagged ‘Texas’

My time in this place I have called home for the last 17+ years is coming up….I feel like I’m done here, I have a strong desire to just be gone…I have until the end of next year. I want my youngest to not have the trauma of being uprooted his last year. But I have found it difficult to shop for a home in another city via the internet…just doing it here locally sucks…photos can be manipulated to give the impression that it is a good neighborhood, street views, interior and exterior shots….sigh….so I have made a decision that has sucked the life out of me and sent me into a depressive state. I’ve decided to stay. I have things to consider like logistics and expenses….due to my physical limitations I can’t have certain things…stairs, big yards…which I don’t need. I just need a small space. I am already slowly packing stuff up…taking pictures off the wall. Packing up dishes and thinking of just giving everything away….I hate moving, I hate asking people to help…even if those people are my own kids. I hate not having the physical strength to do it on my own. I don’t need a lot of the things I have accumulated over the years….my biggest collections that mean anything are my books and clothes….and of course all the photos of the kids and a few keepsakes….but that is still a lot of crap. I’ve been dismantling my library….giving books away as soon as I am done….I’ll be using towels to keep breakables from breaking….my son is bringing me boxes so I can start….small boxes that I can manage…by the end I’ll probably have 20,000+ boxes….but they’ll be manageable….but I’ll be trying to sell 2 dining tables, sofa, loveseat, bookcases….and I’m sure a ton of other crap. This next chapter of my life will be just me….there have been some relationships with family that will never be recovered and while sad I also realize that I’m better off without the negativity…I have my own negativity to deal with…don’t need anyone else’s…wah…I’m off to have me a pity party….

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What? Yeah…..some trends that have been growing exponentially….on Facebook most days I feel like I don’t know the place anymore….I used to enjoy my drop-ins and contributions to make someone smile or think….nowI feel like I accidentally stumbled back in time and I’m in church….the Church of Facebook….where there are all sorts of condemnations…..or back when I’d drop in at the town’s local pancake and coffee shop and the old timers would get into heated discussions over politics….***SIGH**** I do miss the old Facebook….I know some of the going ons are trends, the pet posting, the trout pout pics, etc, etc….anywho I’ll stop bitching about that….

Day off from job 1, so much to do and waiting on motivation, savoring my coffee…still doing laundry, have ironing to do, clothes to put away,a vacuum to run, a list of things I want to put together and photograph and hopefully sell, if not off to freecycle. I also have to try to finish my haircut….I can get one side just right or close enough to where it does what I want to, but I get challenged with the other side, I’ll eventually get it to where I’m okay with it or where I give up and let it grow out again.

My cup is almost dry…so I’ll be wrapping things up, shower, haircut, ironing station setup, may watch a movie while I do that….then I’m hoping for a nap before I go to job 2…..I want to enter a drawing for maid service for a year….and win….where do I sign up????

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Stupid is as stupid does, and I have been on a roll. I suffered a bit with hyperactivity a couple of days ago….couldn’t keep myself to any single task…consequently I hand washed my car, I worked on scraping paint off the coffee table, I baked lemon bars, I did laundry, I swept, I vacuumed (not that it looks like I did) then I piddled around starting other things that I just didn’t get to completing….and what did I get for all this….yeah this is where the stupid part comes in…PAIN….lots of fucking back pain…I almost didn’t want to stop everything I was doing, once I stop I start to intensely feel the aftereffects of all my moving around, bending, stooping, stretching, pulling and pushing…**SIGH*** when will LIFE (without pain) go back to “normal” (whatever the fuck normal is…)

Had another session of dramatics…not a fan of that….I’d much rather pull my eyelashes out one by one…or shave my toes…but all is well now…gotta go wake the kidlets up…

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Nowadays when we want to get the latest on local news we turn to FB, (that would be Facebook) if there’s been breaking news, or a break up, or even a make-up and no not the makeup we put on our faces, but the relationship kind….if it rains, what the current temperature is, you name it and more than likely someone has posted about it. I’m hardly surprised at what people post, someone (a long time ago) left the bag of idiots open and quite a few got out, some have been recaptured and tamed, but there are still quite a few roaming free and reproducing. I happen to be related to some that should have never reproduced, yes it’s mean to say it, but I think those idiots are meaner than I could ever be. Those same idiots have had no shame posting their disdain for their offspring and not in a joking manner, I’ve seen some (which shall remain nameless to protect their offspring) who have posted publicly how they hate their children and wished them to have never been born. Yes quite dramatic but sadly true.  Said idiots have been banned from my social (networking) life. And because I too have called my own children idiots I feel I need to clarify, mind you that I do clarify for my own children as well, they are not idiots, they simply do idiotic things, and before someone thinks me a hypocrite, I am to blame for some of the idiotic behavior of my children, I am their mother and father so all blame is automatically shifted to me. That’s just how the cookie crumbles in my house.

Sorry I got distracted with the FB tangent….I was on the subject of rain, or rather the lack of it, for over an hour I enjoyed the light show (lightning) and the thunder and even the teasing smell of rain, but alas not a single drop from the sky fell around me….and yes FB and the peeps and peepettes there were posting about the rain they got, they are but a few miles away….so what gives mother nature? Well not that i expect her to reply to my question….I know the answer, it just is not meant to be, at least not today.

Boy number two has been asking just about everyday if I’m going anywhere…but now I know who will be ready to go with me to the grocery store early Sunday morning. I promised him he could drive there and back. Now that could be an idiotic move on my part, but hopefully we survive it, if not well there will be one less idiot on the road, (or two).

 

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Insomnia sucks.

I miss you and not in the I haven’t seen you or talked to you in a while kind of way…..but in the I miss you because I can’t be with you kind of way.

I lay here distracted from the possibility of sleep with thoughts I can’t share with you. There is not a person I feel I can open up to…about the things that keep me awake. I have me, and while I can keep myself in good company alone I don’t have the warmth of you. Just this miserable Texas heat.

I have a pile of books I need to catalog before I reshelf them or is it reshelve? Well it’s one or the other…and I need to get it done.

I cooked 2 pots of beans this weekend….and my beaners scarfed them up. Must buy more beans….and rice and potatoes…and chicken…the staples of a poor Mexican pantry. Must find new and exciting ways to cook this stuff.

Must do laundry, finally got some ironing done…still need to put folded stuff away…and bake a cake.

If you were here you would know all this.

I need a mani/pedi, haircut, wax, facial and massage….basically what I need is a spa day. I think I can do all here, minus the massage….unless I plug-in my back massager.

I’ll quit babbling now….ILU.

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Spring Break is right around the corner, along with Daylight Saving Time which starts on March 13 at 2 a.m. just in time to make us all discombobulated for St. Patrick‘s Day. Batten down the hatches and give me some green beer bitches.

My back has been a pain in the ass…well almost…it is hurting close to my ass…lower back, right side now…usually it is my left side with leg numbness thrown in the mix. So far not much of that on the right…hope not either, I need to be able to feel…besides trying to stand up and not being able to completely feel your legs is not cool. I’ve been once again hitting the bottle…not the sauce but the pain meds. This week I am doing very little, need to get my back to stop hurting like a mofo…got a road trip ahead and I’d hate for it to be completely miserable.  As it is we will be visiting family and we all know that in and of itself can be quite painful.

Starting road trip on TX 83

 

This morning I finally finished unpacking from my girls weekend…now it is time to pack again, secure a housesitter and all the other shtuff that needs to be done.

  

Currently on my pet peeve need to bitch about it radar are cell phones…or more like cell phone users that are attached to their devices. Nothing like inviting people for a get together you haven’t seen in a while and they proceed to spend the next 2 hours on their phones. RUDE and obnoxious…and not happening again….I’d rather sit alone than across from someone clearly not present….there off my chest…feel a tad bit better.

I think I just burned 5% off my back with my heating pad….sheesh.

Need water. 

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Much like the movie with the one pair of jeans, but with a more realistic one size fits all item to pass around.

A while back I stumbled upon a place that called my attention, a place for women my age (yes OLDER). I will not share its location because I want to remain selfish in that way…if you really want to know I’ll PM you the address. 

I then stumbled upon a thread that was started by another member with the idea of connecting women through a bracelet and journal…it has finally made its way to me, and all I can say it is an indescribable feeling to be a part of this group. I get to keep these items for ten days before I send them off to the next person…here’s some pics of the journal and bracelet.

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