Shell shocked….continued

I remember her walking in and I knew something was not right. I didn’t know her aside from brief interactions at the counter or as I made rounds….but I was seeing a person that was in shock.

I asked if she was ok, she broke down for a split second and disclosed that she had just been diagnosed with cancer.

The next day she came in after her first treatment.

Somewhere along the way I just felt I needed to be there for her, she hasn’t disclosed the details and I haven’t probed….but I have found a new friend and I’ll do what I can to be there for her.

Whoever said hair doesn’t grow on nipples didn’t see “those” nipples….

Stupid is as stupid does, and I have been on a roll. I suffered a bit with hyperactivity a couple of days ago….couldn’t keep myself to any single task…consequently I hand washed my car, I worked on scraping paint off the coffee table, I baked lemon bars, I did laundry, I swept, I vacuumed¬†(not that it looks like I did) then I piddled¬†around starting other things that I just didn’t get to completing….and what did I get for all this….yeah this is where the stupid part comes in…PAIN….lots of fucking back pain…I almost didn’t want to stop everything I was doing, once I stop I start to intensely feel the aftereffects of all my moving around, bending, stooping, stretching, pulling and pushing…**SIGH*** when will LIFE (without pain) go back to “normal” (whatever the fuck normal is…)

Had another session of dramatics…not a fan of that….I’d much rather pull my eyelashes out one by one…or shave my toes…but all is well now…gotta go wake the kidlets up…

At bay~

Dealing with a health scare for one of my boys, having no insurance and enough stress to go around for a long time….what to do?? Well for starters I know I need to reign the panic in, getting worked up is not going to solve anything. Research and a strong shot of something to soothe me is a good option. Today I am turning my phone off and crawling into my own private hell hole so that I can deal with this situation. I just don’t have it in me today…sometimes it is easier to crawl under a rock…or the covers, stick my head in the sand and take plenty of deep breaths. If I had a hill of chocolate I’d climb it and eat my way off it. Times like these I wish I had someone to share things with, but another realization I had last night is that I will no longer be as open as I was, it may sound hypocritical as I blog about this, that or the other….but I have control over the information I decimate. Meaning I can pick and choose who I share with and how much I share….and as much as I put out, there is much more I keep to myself and ultimately I am more comfortable keeping things in. So if I don’t share the details here then I probably won’t elsewhere…it just is.

Life calls…..and so does my bed….wish the chocolate fairy knew the way to my house.

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