The Ex Files Part 13~

She began to think she should postpone their wedding. Her fiancé seemed incapable of being apart from her….they dated long distance, so she had not realized the extent of his clinginess until they moved in together.

If she wanted some “alone time,” he would immedietely get offended. If she didn’t stand or sit next to him or cuddle with him, he claimed she didn’t like him. If she ate lunch with a friend instead of him as she was prone to do daily he would become upset. Even when they spent time with her family, there were repercussions, usually it would be moping and drama when they got home.

His parents divorced when he was 11, and neither wanted much to do with him or his brother. Initially, she found his behavior sweet . Flattered that he was always willing to go with her anywhere, even shopping at a mall, none of her friends could boast the same from their men.  Soon she began to think he might be a little too afraid of her going alone…perhaps fearing for her safety, more reason to be flattered-was what she tried to convince herself with.

She began to feel a pang of unease, she felt suffocated, making her trips to even get a box of maxi pads such an ordeal…her new ball and chain couldn’t even stay behind while she drove down the street for a couple of items, she tried getting him to go pick up these things for her, but would then insist she go with him as he would enjoy her company.

For him and his unresolved issues, every day began to feel like what she had gone through with her kids the first few days of school, the clinging, the crying, the desperation and fear at being left behind and the fear that mom wouldn’t show up at the end of the school day.

It was one thing to give birth to a clingy child, but she didn’t think she could marry one. She knew she had choices to make, live with constant conflict or avoid seeing family or friends or doing anything that would trigger his abondonement issues. At this point her even going to the bathroom would agitate him, he would even ask her to leave the door open so he could still see her and hear her. She was afraid that this was beginning to feel normal and like complete adoration from her beloved.

She began to see herself behind a locked and padded door attached forever more to him, what in an instant could feel like such devotion would in the next instant feel like a lifetime term behind prison walls. Not to mention the constant need to call her at work, text her throughout the day and email her every few hours, if she didn’t reply to his calls, texts or emails he would find a way to drop by or he would then begin to call her friends or coworkers to make sure she was okay.

This crazy train was out of control and she needed off….

Release the ta-ta’s~

 

I felt like something wasn’t quite right…I felt suffocated, bound…then I realized I still had my bra on….so I unhooked it and yanked it off. That is the worst feeling in the world…well not quite, but pretty close. I hate bras…if it wasn’t for nipples I wouldn’t need a damn bra.

Tomorrow I will bake banana nut and strawberry muffins…something healthy for the kids…and of course for me too. The countdown is on, 9 more days and summer break officially begins for the boys. Their break will begin with yard work, and top to bottom cleaning, I know, mean mom. Monday I will bake a cake for the birthday boy and do a Carino’s family platter. Throw a salad together and we will just eat and get fat. I need to stop eating…I’m getting fat…I hate feeling fat, looking fat, being fat…oh gotta go, there’s a donut stick with my name…

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