I love the night shift and the daytime freedom it provides me…lately I have spent more time on my night audits and it is refreshing to discover that someone else can appreciate an esoteric parlance, albeit only in writing, but it sure makes for interesting reading. Due to the nature of most of our clients we are reminded to keep to a nondescript style of writing….well that has taken a life of its own and most case notes could be just copied and inserted in each individual file as they all sound the same, but then there is Ms. HR, gotta love her colorful use of language and the kicker is that she uses it in the correct context…anywho…enough of that…
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling like I am dying…I took it upon myself to get or try to get the yard work done…well got the front done (except for the weed eating) and then I half assed the backyard…my body just gave out. consequently I am still paying for it…I don’t feel like I can even ask my # 2 to help…and I surely cannot afford to pay someone to come and do it….so buttercup sucks it up….by the time I recover I’ll be repeating the process as the rain has kick started the growth….and from a distance it looks okay…and I feel like I haven’t uttered the words enough…but here goes, I hate my body, I hate that it betrays me, that on the outside to anyone looking at me I look the picture of health…far from it, I have a useless piece of shit carcass to drag around and it’s only going to get worse…and pity party over….
I hate sick people. Which sounds mean, I know, but they’re just nasty. And when they get better, I like them again, so it’s not so bad, right…assuming I liked them in the first place….which isn’t terribly likely, frankly…which means that when the vast majority of people get sick, my impression of them doesn’t really change much….and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, so I’m back to sounding ‘normal’ again. It just took a while to get there, is all…in this case it’s Boy # 3, so the word hate doesn’t apply to him, but he should have known better and stayed away from me yesterday.
Now, a couple of things, before I go any further. First, I’m not talking about sick sick people. The terminally ill and tragically vegetative are okay in my book. I don’t bother them, and they… well, most of them aren’t really up to bothering me, so we’re cool. Those kinds of ‘sick’ people don’t count.
I also want to stress that I feel the same way about myself, when I’m sick, as I feel about others. When there’s a sick person out there in the world, sneezing on me or hacking up a lung beside me or using the back of my head as a hanky, I simply think….Man, this ass should lock himself in his house, down some antibiotics, and not bother society again until he can do it without snuffling all over the damned floor. When it’s your own kid, what do you do? I’ve yet to find the answer to that. I know it would be mean to banish him to the back room.
And let me assure you, that’s exactly what I want to do when I’m sick….and feeling like a craptastic sickling. So don’t think I’m being all high and mighty with my sick-sist attitude. I’m willing to turn the snark around on myself…..
I think I’m beginning to get sick and that sucks…. that’s what pisses me off….I’m the one writing this tripe, and even I feel obligated to add that in…and there is only one person, small person, specifically Boy # 3 that started this…sucks, I tell you, you know what else sucks…of course you don’t so let me fill you in…anyway where was I??? I’m not sure but I’ll restart my mental engine….this morning is not being particularly kind to me…. runny nose, puffy, watery eyes….I look like I am terminally ill. I should put up a sign warning the boys to stay away I feel like if I don’t warn them they could come in here and plop themselves in the middle of Typhoid Ruby’s personal germ tsunami, I can just feel those little bastard germies incubating in me right now.
And if those cooties don’t get me, the ones I caught yesterday will….I can say for sure where I picked up the coots they came at me from the Tater. The germs are out to get me, when I have the luxury, I try and follow the advice I outlined above when I’m sick; I stay as motionless — and preferably unconscious — as possible for the duration of the illness. Personal hygiene can go to hell when I’m sick….showering, shaving, finding clean underwear… these are all niceties for people that are well. If I’m sniffly, sneezy, aching, coughing, and all-the-rest-of-that-shit miserable, then just let me sleep it off. I’ll worry about the funk when I can breathe again, dammit. Just leave me alone to sleep, rehydrate, and moan….but today I have to be functional, I have a commitment to fulfill and because I am me I will fulfill said commitment.
So that being said I’m hoping my immune system pulls some kind of miracle out of it’s ass and fights these ubergerms off. If I’m gonna be miserable it is not going to be because I’m laid up in bed with a Vodka IV, dammit. I want to be living the high life somewhere….sipping an Appletini, or shopping….shopping is always a cure-all…..I think I had a point in mind when I started this blog….where’d it go???
Boy # 2 arrived home from school yesterday looking like the picture of complete misery, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, later on he started running a temperature, I immediately banished him to his room and gave him a tub of disinfectant wipes. Both boys # 2 & 3 crashed out early and were asleep before 8pm. This morning at 5:45 I checked in on boy # 2, he was running a temperature of 102°, poor baby, when my babies are sick, I feel their misery, they both have asthma and when they get sick they tend to have respiratory distress…and with Swine flu being a big threat, I went into a panic…like I needed something else to send me into a panic (yes, still suffering from Panic Attacks, so if I can put you on my call list, let me know, last night I needed to talk to someone, anyone and I had nobody I could talk to). So this morning I sat by the phone and as soon as it was 8am I dialed the doctor’s office and was able to get boy # 2 in at 9:30, he was not diagnosed with Swine flu, just your common everyday Piglet flu, big sigh of relief, he was prescribed antibiotics and got a refill on his inhaler, and a follow up in a couple of weeks…of course they recommended we all get the H1N1 vaccine, but of course they are not available. Figures. Boy # 2 was so sweet, he was like “thank you mom for taking me to the doctor” I hope he gets better soon, I hate seeing my kids sick. I’ve got him walking around carrying his wipes…
As for me, well still miserable…I know, what else is new…since Monday’s procedure I’ve been having headaches and shortness of breath, I’ve called the Dr’s office who referred me to the surgery center, I called the surgery center and they referred me back to the doctors office…IDIOTS…as if I am in the mood to be playing on the phone….I’m tired of laying flat on my back, laying on my side (either side), tired of sitting, and don’t have the energy to stand….I’ll say it again…I want my life back….
I am a bit happy…I sent out an email on the internets…freecycle that is…and one of the ladies that comes around for my giveaways set aside two bags of books for me, so happy reading to me, she also emailed me and told me she would put me on her books list…yay, these are the books I can read, true crime, mystery, suspense…she did throw in a couple of “light” romance, but I may be able to read them, if not I’ll just pass them along. Books make me happy, free books make me happier, books I want to read make me silly happy….so yay, I’m happy.