No pot to piss in….

Thankfully I’m not there yet….but soon we may be….today was an eye opener for things to come. Having no medical insurance and a job that doesn’t have enough hours to keep me from worrying about how to make ends meet….no hope of getting insurance anytime soon either….oh well….enough stressing that…wish I was sitting on the pot of gold some think I sit on….instead I just sit on my ass….which doesn’t produce gold either… has been a busy day….running back and forth, well not running, I still can’t run, I do okay just walking…but picking sick child up from school, driving to dr, driving to pharmacy, dropping boy off at school, going by pharmacy to pick up prescriptions…having a mild cardiac incident, driving home, driving back to pharmacy, doing laundry, cleaning, getting grub prepped for dinner, folding laundry, putting things in dryer, taking things out….sigh…a mother’s job is never done….but I will reap the rewards….

Well off to finish off my womanly neverendingchores… ­čÖé

Thar She Blows~

I tried keeping our┬áinsurance, (thanks for nothing HUMANA) but food and other necessities (such as electricity, water, mortgage, etc)┬átrump healthcare coverage. So I paid out the┬áASS for this stupid policy only to have to not just cover the higher copays, but also 100% of my doctor visits, exams, lab work, x-rays and prescriptions, mind you everything was in-network. So basically I paid out the ASS to carry around 3 useless insurance cards. I’m trying to not do the math because it pisses me off and then I start bawling and turn into a blubbering mess in my bedroom with the door locked so the kids don’t have to see/hear me. What I paid for useless insurance coverage would have taken care of all the school supplies, new school clothes and maybe even a frivolous steak or two.

Thank you dear blog of mine for your great eyes and ears, you bear witness to my struggles, my loneliness, my joys, my happiness, my nonsense, my drivel, my randomness and my life. I don’t ask much of you and I appreciate that you let me vent. (Because you are mine.)

I have something else to bitch about…a virus, not the kind that makes one sick, unless one is a formerly cute little Dell Mini….a virus has rendered my Dell Mini useless and I just don’t have the $$ to fix you right now, so I will bury you in your coffin until I can take you to the doctor. Because children needing physicals for school take precedence over you, you get to lay in wake for a while. RIP for now little red friend of mine.

I need sleep, so if anything sounds stupid…I blame the bitch called insomnia, she isn’t letting me have my way with my pillows and covers. I hate her. I’m not even sure she is a she, but I don’t want to hear anyone bitching or whining about me being a man hater if I get to calling insomnia an asshole.

You are the first to know~

It’s been a productive day so far. Things are falling into place and I will be having a June wedding. My search for love ended a while back….and not to long ago I began my search for a new husband, one that doesn’t have to love me but provide me with insurance.

We have been talking for a while, squaring away some minor (major really) details. I have no expectations, make no demands, need not be loved or sit (or teeter) on a pedestal.

There has been freedom in giving up the illusions and delusions. I still need to talk to my boys (I’m not worried they’ll learn about it┬áhere.) I think they will be okay…it isn’t the first time I’ll spring a surprise on them.

Finally I snagged one (or another one)

Will marry for health insurance~

I wasn’t born perfect….hmmm…I take that back, I was born perfect…but it didn’t last. Yes, I had all my fingers and toes, two eyes, two of everything that comes in two’s. But then I developed and inherited a genetic disorder and all that perfection I had is gone.

So now I am on my own trying to navigate the healthcare conundrum that many others out there are also having to battle, and I tell you what…it sucks big fat purple monkey balls.

I can still carry COBRA…but only if I starve my kids…or give them away….otherwise I cannot afford to pay the premium. This too if I don’t run my electric or gas…which for the most part I haven’t been able to do.

I’ve applied for insurance as an independent and that was denied, sure I can appeal, but while I appeal I have to continue to carry my unaffordable insurance and pay for the applications I submit. I also have to battle the idiots (if I can even get someone on the phone) pressing 1 for English and pressing 2 for this option only to get another menu with more options has made my blood pressure rise. So I’ll be adding high blood pressure to my list of things that are now wrong with me and give them another reason to deny my application. ***SIGH***

So I am reduced to this…trying to find a husband…not for LOVE but for his insurance. Maybe a military man, he can get an extra $$$ per year just for being married…I’d say that could be a win/win. He can have all his $$$ and I can have his insurance.

So if you know anyone with good insurance or anyone in the military wanting some extra $$$ send them a link to my blog. I promise not to be too picky. Oh and this needs to be ASAP.

Finally Friday~


Happee Friday~

Not that it matters what day it really is, currently in my world one day just blends into the next and the only reason for me to think about what day of the week it is is because I still have kids in school. I had thought of getting out, I want to try a new recipe but don’t have everything I need…but after a shower and drying my hair and putting my face on I seemed to have used up all my energy. That and my back is not being agreeable with me.

I’m quite medicated presently and I hate/love the feeling of numbness that goes with it. Just waiting for it to kick in and do its thing is enough to wear me out. I worked on my Friday chore list….I used to be so orderly and get the kids involved in helping me clean house after work on Fridays…it was our routine, and just getting started and doing it would be a small battle but it didn’t take us long to zip around and get everything done. It takes cooperation from all of us and I hate that I don’t have the energy to put more of me into getting things done. I really hate that part.

Yesterday I was determined to clear off my desk, dresser and other areas of my bedroom that had seen an overflow of paperwork dealing with insurance and medical bills. I spent too much time on the phone doing battle with the idiots in the billing department but finally I got it done. I had actual success as I managed to get them to correct my account and remove the charges they kept insisting I needed to pay. My insurance had already taken care of the charges and I was not about to pay them again for it.

Over the years I have become better at dealing with insurance and billing and the mountains of paperwork that come through when there are numerous visits to drs, hospitals, clinics and such. The ability to also be able to keep up with it online has been a tremendous ally….there have been occasions where I have overpaid and even paid twice for the same service, but experience has also been on my side when I’ve had to make the calls and request refunds. I’m just glad that I get to keep a bit more in my pocket, it means I can have a bit extra to treat the kids to dinner out or perhaps buy them new clothes.


Para Espa├▒ol oprima # 1

I have been on the phone with one idiot after another in trying to get my medical billing issues squared away. I refuse to pay for something my insurance has already paid but these idiots keep sending me bills. I call and I get transferred from one department to another, then they put me on hold, then they take my number and promise to call me back. It is too early to start medicating, but at this rate I am not going to hesitate starting before noon.

I have been up and┬áawake since 3:00 am, I did manage to get a couple of hours of sleep, but I need more sleep…since I am unable to do that I might as well get my paperwork squared away and filed. I had a pile at least 6 inches thick, I’ve seperated everything and I’m dealing with each different stack by calling the offices I need, but incompetence is running straight across the board with everyone. Could it be that it is too close to Friday for them? Maybe I should have called on Tuesday or Wednesday.

getting it done~

My goal is to get everything filed and taken care, I want to make the payments I need to make and be done with that worry over it. I also have an oven waiting for me to put a cake in it.

I have my spreadsheet done for 2010 where I will keep track of all my tax deductions, I am determined to get better organized, no guarantees that I will stay organized but at least make the effort to get it done.


Sometimes a bit (or a lot) of whining pays off….

Finally I am getting somewhere with all these damn phone calls made to the different players out there that are not working very efficiently. I will be getting a check for the last two months for my Long Term Disability YAY!!! Of course there won’t be any money left for anything fun, I have bills to pay. Oh and my babies are guaranteed food on the table for a while longer.

saving a tree branch~ I do my part, how about you?

Next thing I am tackling is getting my insurance carrier to reactivate my insurance cards, so that I can keep my appointment for Monday and surgery on Wednesday….of course this is another set of phone calls and emails. All this crap does not make for a sunny disposition….

Not so sunny here...

My coffee and shower are both out-of-the-way, I need to strip my bed and wash my linens, I can’t make my bed until I get boy # 1 to flip my mattress over….when I was well, back in the day….I could do this by myself…it’s the little things we take for granted…and yes I know there are people who┬ánever think about flipping their mattress…but I try to, after all I am laying there night after night in essentially the same spot, same with the seat cushions on my sofa, I need to get them all switched around.

Boy # 1~ Mattress flipper

And as I sit here typing away, I go back and forth on email, I just received an email showing that someone is actually working on my behalf and my benefits may be activated soon…yay….yes I┬á use my professional and polite skills of persuasion when asking for things. I’m better suited doing the asking via email, where I can pause and read before I hit send, I get really bitchy when I do this over the phone and that is counterproductive…so I’ll keep my fingers crossed…and check again after a while.

I am off to go and fix breakfast and chillax in front of the boob tube.

Yikes & chingow~

What can O do for me?

My prediction for COBRA coverage was right at $1000.00, I received my COBRA information in the mail today, I was off, by $80.11, my monthly premium is now $919.89…fucking lovely.

Oh the irony of this is magnificently beautiful, COBRA comes at the expense of having no job, having no job means having no income, having no income means higher premiums, I’m not following the logic here, as most unemployed Americans facing the election of COBRA coverage, many opt out of it due to the higher monthly premiums. So do I feed my kids and keep a roof over our heads or have my eyes gouged…sheesh, the monthly premium is right about the same amount as my monthly┬ámortgage, actually COBRA is higher than my mortgage, higher by over $100.00….the panic hasn’t set in yet…you will know…my blogs which are mild in language and vulgarities will change to ones filled with lots of Eff’s….fuck!

I think I am going to go eat cake and let this sink in.

I think I am also sending my kids out early to trick or treat, the first batch I’ll use for any kids coming to my door….

give me your candy~

The above is Mexican ingenuity.

Does the above seem bad? Of course it does, will I lose sleep over it…probably not, I lose sleep over more than that. Yes, I will burn in a place especially reserved for the unconscionable.

Don't judge~

I may have beer with my cake, don’t judge…I don’t care if it is still morning…maybe wine, wine and cake sounds better than beer and cake.

Why-o, why-o

Why does sleep elude me? I am tired, I did manage a 30 minute nap before the boys got home from school…but that was not enough…I was going to try to read myself to sleep but that is not likely. Seems that my Tuesday was a waste, no answer from either the idiots at my insurance company or the idiots at the dr’s office. Frustrating as crap…I was also supposed to schedule an appointment for some further testing, hasn’t happened….I’m not necessarily looking forward to the drive out there or in trying to find someone to go with me. I hate asking my son or for that matter anyone else to take time off work to go. Right now finances are super tight and compensating someone to go with me in addition to the expense of getting there and possibly spending the night…$cary thought. How did I end up in this predicament? Well let’s see…when one is not popular or have RL friends…this shit happens. I wish I could just get it done locally but the DR I go to doesn’t feel that our neck of the woods has any professional capable of getting the testing done to his specifications….Back track…I do have RL friends but I am not comfortable in putting anyone out….I just wish I could do it myself…I’m not dealing well with the state of crippledom I am in. I’m worse off now than before….fuckers, they fucked me up….bitter? Who? Me? Shush up…

Do I sound bitter?
Do I sound bitter?

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