# 89765432 & # 23453789

Random numbers, because names would just open up a can of worms….so I had this whole diatribe in my head and on paper…well no not paper, on WORD….it stemmed from a revelation in a conversation with # 89765432 which in turn had caused me to have an epiphany of ginormous proportions.

# 23453789 had once upon made some statements regarding the “sexes”…yes men and women….but from the conversation with # 89765432 I had come away realizing or piecing together some “character” flaws regarding # 23453789…then the bubble burst…or rather the dam did….and #23453789’s previous statement came back semi full circle….SIGH….

Friendships are hard, people are complicated, present company included. Sometimes being friendless is the best thing…so cheers to solitude and reflection…and HEB Creamy Creations Butter Pecan Ice Cream and books…about blood, guts, killing…and all that good stuff….oh and fucking too. But not fucking like you might think…more like mind fucking…I guess I shoulda just said mind fucking….so anywho my gang banged brain is off to do some relaxing reading….and put shit out of my head…..


Time to refocus….

…and disengage….and re-engage in other areas…today was somewhat productive, got laundry done (some, not all, as laundry is one of those damn pesky never-ending, never done, has to get done pesky chores…) and done is not quite accurate as putting stuff away is part of the done process….so half assed done…hey it’s better than nothing….went grocery shopping, forgot milk, damn it.

Read for a while, watched TV for a bit, hung out with the kidlets, left them alone then they came to my room to hang out some more. Gotta love ’em, just wish my oldest was close by.

Sat down with my bucket of ice cream, box of cones and pigged out….but I balanced it out with yard work and a salad.

My back is not happy with me, but it’s not like I can afford a landscaping crew….and nobody around here feels any responsibility in maintaining a clean yard….ohoh…here comes the bitchventscreamcrap….

WAH….I am so fucking tired….tired of taking care of EVERY FUCKING THING. Well not done taking care of shit, more like worrying about it…I have some areas needing MAJOR REPAIRS. Like a board that is holding the electrical wires that is somewhat detached from the house, it is barely hanging on….I’d hate to see it give….I’ve paid for a half assed repair, that didn’t last…yeah kinda got screwed on that one….I need to focus on getting the funds together for that….so major cutting back on…hmmm…not sure what….yeah no more indulging in ice cream….or going out, so yeah, work and home and that is it.

Well I’m off to focus on other schtuff….

I feel better now that I got to whine a bit….thank you internets, I wuv ewe….

When life hands you lemons….

…make lemonade.

Life hasn’t handed me lemons if it had I’d be looking up recipes and I’d be using them, besides lemonade there are so many other uses for lemons.

What I did have was apples, so I made an apple pie. The lattice-work on the top crust wasn’t pretty, but that is because I didn’t get creative, I got practical and hurried, I needed to binge on something to keep the anxiety away. So I just cut the dough into different shapes and put it over the apples and then put it in the oven to bake. Wish I’d have had vanilla ice cream, but nevertheless the apple pie was good and it hit the spot. Speaking of bingeing I’m about to head back into the kitchen and check for left overs. I’m hungry.

Tongue deeply entrenched in cheek…otherwise titled “I tongue myself”

Right or wrong…you’re wrong I’m right, end of argument!  Logic usually goes out the window when engaged in a battle with those less witless than I…..I find it hard to admit I’m wrong….I am never wrong…and I won’t admit it, not going to happen…so put it out of your head, no matter how compelling you may be or how wrong I may be…fair is not the name of the game….here’s my trick…take notes ya’ll….prove to yourself that you are right and make yourself believe you are right as well….there…that ought to do it……well almost….remember not to raise your voice…cause I will not even listen to you then…I may catch a word or two…but more than likely I’m thinking ice cream…specifically HEB’s Creamy Creations Butter Pecan ice cream….but hey if you just admit your  wrong from the get go then you win…hehe….and remember to always take all arguments with  massive grains of salt…(see iodide can too be your friend) and remember you can always win by letting me believe what I need to believe and vice versa…the world would be a much better place…..I think where you stumble is when you need to prove to yourself that you need to win no matter the contest….I’ll give you a win based and that if I see it oozing out of you….I remember for both of us because you won’t…but it is in our nature to protect what  we believe…I’m hungry…I’m happy and I’m feeling much better after popping some makethisflulikeshitgoaway stuff.

Oh and on to some other stuff…I’ve got some places I think y’all should stop by and visit. These are sites created by a fellow freecycler and reader….so check out her blogs and spread the word.

http://webmyblog.com  this one is knitting and just everyday things…

http://autumnleafstore.blogspot.com  an online store…

 http://journey63.wordpress.com blog for Fibromyalgia…

I’ve added them to my blogroll, feel free to add to yours.

Mark your calendars~

I’m marking mine…sorta…well, I am blogging about it so I can reference it this way.

Last night I took one of my little happy pills…they aren’t really happy pills, they’re more like little round pills with a line in the middle and numbers and letters. Anywho…they are supposed to make me happy, but they’ve never done that and I simply doubt that I could ever find happiness in a little pill. I think I can find happiness in a bucket of butter pecan ice cream or under the covers. But I digress…so yeah, I took a little happy pill and while I was on the phone the sleepies started nudging me, so I got off the phone went and did my bizness (I had to go piss) and then crawled back in bed, for a minute or two or ten I thought to myself…”Fuck, you just broke the spell, you will end up reading, tossing and turning and not sleeping”….but then next thing I know I am trying to read, but I can only turn the pages a couple of times and nothing is registering, time to turn the lights out.

I was out, gone, visiting the land of darkness and dreams and sleep…yes, SLEEP. In all it’s wondrous glory, heavy lids, restful sleep. I cannot recall the last time I slept this good. Could it be? Could the answer really be in those round little happy pills with the numbers and letters? Could it have been the massage (with the happy ending)? Could it have been the ice cream? I don’t know, all I know is that it felt so good to sleep, to not wake up once, to not get up a million times, to not turn the lights on and off, to not turn the TV on and off, to not pick up my book, to not read at a mad furious pace….to just sleep.

It’s gonna be a good day!

I have Cake Love

We had some rain, can’t tell if it stopped…have the AC going along with a couple of other fans, so pretty much everything else is drowned out. A made a cake, just a couple of days ago he made a cheesecake….someone is going to get fat….this after 3 people made comments that I looked like I’ve lost weight….2 of them base it on a picture the other based on the picture comments….sheesh…I did have a forkfull or two of cheesecake and a forkfull or two of the other cake, earlier I ate 5 ice cream cones…minus the ice cream…I’m not a total pig….I also opened a bottle of wine, had a couple of glasses….with some chips…totally highbrow….I just popped a pain pill…waiting for that to kick in….I need sleep…..I need other things too….but I’ll get sleep before I get the other….

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