So many annoyances….

I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.


I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy

I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.

Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…

and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.asshat

Still kicking….

Well no not really….I’ve lost my kicking abilities, not to be confused with my kick ass abilities, those are still there. My back has been kicking my ass…yeah it is humanly possible… me on that one. I’m out of Norco, do not have insurance and probably wouldn’t be able to afford a refill….so on to plan B….or what I’ve decided I may try…I’ll share if and when I implement the plan and have success….if I fail then I’ll spare you…and me.☺

Still gainfully employed, not anywhere close to fulltime but my body wouldn’t be able to handle it at this point…nor my head….today I began feeling feverish, I was not my most coherent and my temper had to be kept in check….stupid people usually don’t faze me but when I’m in pain I tend to get cranky and stupid people set me off….I can’t elaborate because I’ve learned this isn’t the place to air things….still haven’t created my safe haven…though I do have “friends” who offer their ears, shoulders and whatnot to me…I just can’t go there….not ready to trust anyone.

I’m hoping that tomorrow I will feel better and I can treat the boys to either a meal out or maybe even a movie…they are off from school for a couple of weeks. I will enjoy the time spent with them, just wish my oldest could visit, but not this year….funny how life is, I wish them all grown up and out of here but then I know when the last two leave I will be so lost without them. My two youngest already have their plans in place for when the time comes for them to leave the nest….they are growing up too fast….sheesh…I need to quit here….I’m missing them and they haven’t even left. Must be the pain and the meds having me all melancholic and whatnot.

It’s been a while…

…since I’ve come here and added anything of substance. Anymore and I just don’t know if I should even bother talking. Not that it matters if I say anything, it isn’t what I say….but it is what I don’t say…lately it is way too convoluted even for me. Updates….well I’ve returned to the real world (somewhat) I am now working….earning a paycheck feels good, but the pain involved can suck big fat purple monkey balls. That and the dreaded D word (DRAMA) which is to be expected when working with people. I so wish I was qualified to work with the dead….after many years of working by myself it is a readjustment to integrate myself with the human species….I much prefer working solo…but that was a once in a lifetime opportunity I don’t expect to have again….damn my luck….it was good while it lasted and all good things must come to an end.

Lately I’ve been having a not so comfortable need…the feeling of needing someone to talk to. I hate feeling needy….even if it is just a pesky little need as human interaction…but I don’t trust anyone anymore and don’t want to put myself out there again for obvious reasons…well obvious to me….

My meds are taking longer to kick in or at least it feels like it…anywho…I may soon be shutting this down and moving towards complete anonymity or writing retirement….not sure just rambling thoughts.

When you give it all you got, you sometimes end up with nothing.

Can’t say I gave it my ALL, I had to leave some behind just to survive…but I still ended up with nothing…I’m operating in the negatives. but hey that is life. Life also has a way of balancing itself out….sometimes it just takes a very long ASS time.

Karma has a funny way of working, when one door closes sometimes a bunch of others open…in the weirdest of ways. I’ve had recent contact with different people in my past, we are talking of upwards of maybe close to 20 years and some as recent as 10 months. Funny how we don’t think we can make an impact on someone’s life, yet we do, not always for the best, but to reach out after so long….mind you that I don’t quite get the point of the contact….and I didn’t initiate it. (I hardly ever do, I like to make my goodbyes (if I even bothered with a goodbye) real goodbyes. Some doors are meant to stay closed, so even though I allowed the door to become ajar it is time to quietly close it again, and this time put a lock on it.

You should know I get a tad bitchy from time to time.

Things don’t change, they haven’t and they won’t. What things…hmmm…the desire to disembowel a tyrannical fuck.

Life’s too short to be miserable.

Life’s the longest damn thing you’ll ever do and to have an abusive, tyrannical fuck just prolonging your misery…well…


What would you do? Leave? What if leaving is not an option? Killing the asshole? Well of course that is always an option…but murder is quite a messy affair….there’s all that blood, not to mention the possibility of ending locked up in a cell. Sheesh…sometimes life is too complicated, but only because we make it so.

I want out off the merry-go-round, rollercoaster, seesaw, heck just get me away from the kids playground and drop me off where the grown ups go. Not sure where that is, but I aim to get there, I may drive around to see if I can find it, or maybe see if my GPS has a clue…or if anyone out there in the internets know give me a clue.

I was totally weirded out this past weekend, entering an establishment and having hands go up and out to reach out for my arm…I called it groping, but everyone else seems to disagree and tell me that that is not considered groping. Sure the word is most often associated with hands going all willy nilly into the nether regions, but I was not impressed with the attempts at getting my attention, if that is what it was. I just soldiered on and followed along all the while ignoring and slapping hands away. I do wonder if this is an activity exclusive to the taco hat wearing variety of the male species.

Laughter is good. HAHA!

Redneck Woman ~ Stories From My Life~ Gretchen Wilson

I came about this book at the ridiculous low sale price of 50¢ along with a few other books that were also marked down to the same low price. I wonder what the writer’s cut is from a book originally priced at $23.99 down to 50¢.

Anyway I had started another book and forty some pages in I just wasn’t getting into I put that book aside and picked up Redneck Woman. 200 pages and a couple of hours later I was done with that book, so I picked up another.

Wilson details her beginnings from a chaotic childhood on the constant move thru her rise to success. There are a couple of funny parts in the book, a family dog taking psychotropic medications and her grandmothers half assed attempts to kill her husband.

Oh and there was a Bonus DVD with an acoustic video performance…..

Behind every cloud is a silver lining~

In an effort to maintain my sanity I have to resurrect my sense of humor…so I sat there contemplating what exactly my silver linings were…in no particular order~~~

Stay on course~
Stay on course~
  1. My new crippled up state is a source of amusement for boy # 2…he has a 1 foot advantage over me…he gets to exercise his superhero powers by reaching for things I can’t get to. I am the mother of a Superboy.
  2. I don’t have to take 20 things out of my closet to find the perfect outfit; I get to live in my pj’s.
  3. No makeup means I am conserving water…by not washing my face.
  4. I am also doing my part to preserve the ozone layer, since I don’t fix my hair.
  5. Dieting…it’s a non issue now…nobody takes a second look at a hunched over crippled.
  6. Diminished vision…everyone looks beautiful, it’s like living with beer goggles.
  7. Lack of stamina…I get away with doing nothing…I just don’t have the energy…so I don’t even have to use the “I have a headache” line.
  8. Excellent customer service ~ sure it comes with looks of pity…but I’ll take it.


I could go on and on…but these are just a few of the silver linings I’ve found…

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