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Posts Tagged ‘fuckity’

Crucially important for me to take this time to be pensive with the floaters in my head…so much going on, not interested in a sit down with anyone, I do my best at resolutions when I play my own devil’s  advocate. I’ll be doing a lot of reading to shut the voices down when I get tired of hearing myself..

Here’s me talking to myself…I may be doing some of that as well….no telling…I just don’t feel like people-ing for a while…of course those eight hours on the clock are not included…nor is the time with my precious baby…

so tata for now

shh

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I saw my floor looking a bit sad so I gave it a hug (with my back and ass)…somehow I managed to hug tighter than I should have and now I’m paying for it. I’ve been putting off a visit to my back doctor…Monday I will call my primary and have him set me up for xrays then a visit. Perhaps I can just email a copy of the film if he can’t find or see anything. I’m dreading this entire process, the cost associated with all this. The having to leave my house. I’m hoping to at least get a refillable prescription for some happy pills…and some pain pills. I can’t continue to delude myself…I’m off my rocker. And I want out.

I so wish those people talking about “The Rapture” were on to something. If all “THIS” was gone tomorrow I’d be totally okay with it. I already live in my own hell…tired of it. There are a few bright spots in my life, my kids, my family, my friends…but for the most part there is darkness. I don’t bring anything to the table. Blah, blah, blah….fuckity, fuck, fuck.

Waiting for my meds to kick in…if this doesn’t happen soon I’ll be spewing crap about boundaries….and dust bunnies.

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