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Posts Tagged ‘fuck’

I can’t move….I hate this, so minimal movement until this subsides, I have medicated myself and placed myself in a position where everything I might need is within reach….except the pot. not the smoking kind, but the one you piss in…maybe if I had the other….hmmm…when will this end…and what the fuck is the point, I don’t even have the energy for an internal debate…I just want to crawl in a corner and die…but fuck I can’t even crawl…sucks to be me…and that there concludes my pity party.

I’ve pending research to tend to…and then shuffle my ass to bed where I hope to pass out until I go to work.

 

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I’m feeling a disconnect..it’s been a while since I’ve been in that place, not a good place, not a bad place either…it’s more of a limbo situation, but not in a theological sense…like someone just stepped on my power cord and pulled my plug.

I’ve been operating almost on autopilot, it’s been a good week, not busy at all, not busy with people that is, paperwork wise, yes, thankfully I’ve had plenty to keep me from going insane.

I’ve tapped into some old skills, sewing, crocheting, painting…framing some travel prints I’ve had for a while, swapped some books out for some fabric, yarn, ribbons and frames, no glass and they were plain old cheap ass vanilla frames, but I mixed some paints and I am pleased with the resulting hue. Put my paper cutter to use and now I need to decide where I will be hanging the prints.

Finished reading a painfully boring book by an author I’ve enjoyed in the past, she most definitely was off her game…but I had to see it through. Started another book last night and I’ll get back to it tonight…my sleeping has been all fuckered up this week but this is my Friday.

Trying to crochet a scarf and if my all but forgotten skills return I may try to make a throw or two….keeping some fabrics and giving a bunch away, have some for a quilt for Makenzy with some pillows…back in the day I was a pretty damn good seamstress…but my ADD pretty much did away with my interest in many things…maybe I’ll find joy in those activities again…glad I kept one of the three sewing machines I had…anywho…time to call it and try to get some sleep…

Disconnected-e1376858807979-731x485

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It’s been a long time since I came here to upload some nonsense….life has kept me busy….my insomnia hasn’t improved, probably never will, at least not without medical intervention or pharmacuetical intervention….I’d rather not go that route….anywho I am a little chilled right now, it is 38 degrees right now and my feet are cold…I’ve had my coffee…some toasted ameretto I picked up…it is subtly nutty…I LIKE!!!

After finally resolving my housing situation I’ve been working on home improvement projects, changing out doors, new locks, painting and hopefully today while I am at work my yard will get tended to. I’ve got more weeds and stickers and the whole yard needs to be redone….also on the list…floor restoration….at least that is my hope….to restore my hardwood floors, and tile some rooms. I am so tired of the carpet…there is only one spot…thanks to number 2, but otherwise no spots, but a very much visible path of heavy foot traffic. So tired of looking at it.

Almost time for me to start getting ready for work….my back is killing me…I feel officially old….I am now feeling the changes in temperature….that has eluded me for years, people would ask if I could feel the upcoming cold weather…well damn it, I can now…and I fucking hate it.

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It’s always something, all this fuckery….something…always something.

Financial setbacks….health setbacks, job, life in general….but I guess if it wasn’t for something we wouldn’t have much of a life. Life is a bitch….not for all…some people actually enjoy this shit…life….me personally….I’m tired of it….day in, day out….all the same fuckery…I don’t even wait for shit to happen, waking up…it’s a given…shit will find me.

Tomorrow is the start of tax-free weekend…I am anticipating all kinds of zombie like creatures going nuts over a no tax shopping frenzy….I may soak in Calgon in preparation…..

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Most people with low self esteem have earned it….just saying….

There once was an asshat who said to his “other”….guys will only talk to you because they want to fuck you. Men only talk to women they want to fuck. True story.

Ms LifeTeachesUsTruths sat in the dark for many a moon rotation…one night- while counting feet on a caterpillar she had an epiphany.

Her thought roiled in her mushy sleep deprived drug addled brain…”So you say men will only talk to me because they want in my pants….”

Hmmmm….chewing the food for thought..

Good thing you don’t speak for all men….YOU speak for YOURSELF and your thoughts are only a reflection of YOUR character. Ever fucked up character, but yours and yours alone.

I’m thankful I have processed this thought…sure the answers were there…I just didn’t take the time to formulate a response at the time. And yes I’ll give you that one, YOU may have only talked to me with the intent of getting acquainted with my lovely lady parts….and that was all you got. For as long as that immature thought lives with you, you will only get what you are after and those lovely lady parts aren’t much…a person is a sum of all their parts, yes lovely parts included….but true worth of a person goes well beyond that.

Epiphanies are awesome!!

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Random numbers, because names would just open up a can of worms….so I had this whole diatribe in my head and on paper…well no not paper, on WORD….it stemmed from a revelation in a conversation with # 89765432 which in turn had caused me to have an epiphany of ginormous proportions.

# 23453789 had once upon made some statements regarding the “sexes”…yes men and women….but from the conversation with # 89765432 I had come away realizing or piecing together some “character” flaws regarding # 23453789…then the bubble burst…or rather the dam did….and #23453789’s previous statement came back semi full circle….SIGH….

Friendships are hard, people are complicated, present company included. Sometimes being friendless is the best thing…so cheers to solitude and reflection…and HEB Creamy Creations Butter Pecan Ice Cream and books…about blood, guts, killing…and all that good stuff….oh and fucking too. But not fucking like you might think…more like mind fucking…I guess I shoulda just said mind fucking….so anywho my gang banged brain is off to do some relaxing reading….and put shit out of my head…..

FLUSH!

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