Closing out 2018…

So I did my end of the year post in Spanish yesterday…for some reason when I was thinking about it the thoughts only came to me in Spanish….I tried to think of why my mind was blocking English thought, no answers, for the record I think mostly in English, my dreams (from what I can remember of them) are also in English….anywho….I was reflecting on friendships, the loss of friends whether through just life events, choice, circumstance or whatever the cause…some of those losses I have felt deeply while others were inconsequential….I have a hard time trusting anyone to be a part of my small world, the people I do let in my world get to know me…(not the whole of me, for that I am not now or never will be able to fully trust any one individual to know that much about me). In some ways my world is getting smaller….that part is by choice….and just like yesterdays post I once again lost my train of thought….I suppose to surmise where all this gobbledygook is going is that in some way I am mourning the losses of 2018. And while I was attempting to gather my thoughts I came across this:123118

El Don

Regalo o cosa que se da voluntariamente en señal de afecto.
Translation: A gift or thing that is voluntarily given as a sign of affection.

Countless….heat for my water, a stick on my fence, an ear for my words, a lock (or two or ten) for my door, a mower for my grass, a blower for the weeds, a brush for the paint on my walls, sealant for a leak, a charge for my battery, a battery ….the list just goes on and on….

But it isn’t about all the little things….it’s about all the little things put together.

Sometimes gifts arrive in unsuspecting packages. I’m not into gifts of the material kind, more importantly for me is the gift of self: trust, companionship, friendship, shared laughter….but a helping hand goes a long way.

A storied past, a colorful life….we all have our stories…stories muddied in violence, deceptions, love, hate…all forming little pieces of a puzzle that when put together create a big picture, a life story. I enjoy the intricacies of extracting the little nuggets of life that form each little piece….a short or long session where the truth of a soul comes out. Revelations made in turn, speaking over each other and filling in the blanks….rediscovering old forgotten memories, revisiting old memories and more importantly creating new memories.

I promised someone I would have a piece written for them born out of inspiration, in my head the story is still being written, still being pieced together….but a preface…well that I can start off with.

Read, See, Hear

Ever read something someone else wrote and think “who let you in my head”

Ever see something and think “eerily familiar”

Ever hear something and think “I’ve heard that before or I’ve had that conversation”

Life is funny that way…we may think for a moment that no one gets us….but in the blink of an eye clarity sinks in….others have walked a similar path as ours…and many more in our wake will walk our path.

I read so many stories from different women, young and old, black and white, any given nationality, race…whatever and sadly the experiences we share can bond us in an instant.

We can build friendships with people we may never meet face to face but the bonds we build thru our writings are just as real and just as strong as if we had built them sitting face to face having a cup of coffee or lunch, walk in the park or any other activity.

Life is funny that way, not everybody gets it.

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