Biting my tongue, already chewed off the straps to my huggy jacket…

Some days I just want to punch people in the face. Doing something of no benefit to myself (rather at a cost I can ill afford) only to have someone act all ass about it as if I am creating an inconvenience. Wow, I just don’t get where the sense and sensibility went to. Yeah I may need a stiff one after this (drink that is) but I also need a nap….which I just don’t see happening….Calgon take me away….wash me away…PLEASE……….

Venting has concluded you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.


Looks like the tit for tat bullshit nonsense is trying to rear its ugly head…tried nipping it in the bud but it may have backfired. Maybe I should study conflict resolution a little more. My idea of resolution is to say “fuck you” and walk away….though I now tend to just say it inside my head…not very effective…but part of it is the whole trying to be mature about things. Skulking isn’t so much my thing but I am reactive to it….anyway enough about that nonsense…I have more randomness…

I have been flirted with and hit on….it was kinda sorta fun (not the hit on part, there is something smarmy about that) the flirting I can handle….but full out hitting on is just not cool….but it is amusing to hear the lines being used….I so wanna ask if their delivered BS ever works but sadly the answer is probably a yes…but not for me.

People are NASTY and stupid…well perhaps not so stupid after all they did get what they wanted….

I’m gaining my weight back in a fun way….eating lots….but I didn’t get to my ice cream yet….I’m scheduling that for my next day off…juggling 2 jobs I have to get  strategic about the eating of certain things that have adverse effects on me…ice cream makes my belly bloat….and makes me feel miserable….usually afterwards, thankfully not while eating….

Well I’m off to read myself to sleep, have a long 2 days coming up….


Home alone….hadn’t been home alone in a while…enjoying it, have laundry going, I’m still in my nighty and will remain so until I actually have to get clothes on…got my coffee, newspapers, DVR’d stuff, and a book I’ve been trying to finish reading. Today will be a lazy day for as long as I can make it lazy, I will have to cook later and do other domestic stuff…but for now laziness is mine.

Wednesday 08.10.11

A would have been anniversary came and went, an anniversary came and went. Same day different shit, or is it same shit different day?

Well actually it’s whatever, the day came and went, no fanfare, no nada. Does anyone else remember or is it just me, and does it matter. I guess in the end it doesn’t…life or lack of it is like that. One day you are here and then poof…you are gone. Dead as a doornail. Whatever the hell could that expression really mean? (Now I’m intrigued with this vampire series penned by Charlaine Harris, if anyone has these books and no longer wants them PM for my address so you can send them to me, yes really, I’d buy them but there’s that little annoyance called cash flow I am currently not simpatico with.)

I was running low on coffee and I bought a can from the very bottom shelf. For those penny pinchers such as myself, we know where the lower prices are, the bottom shelves. Anywho this coffee sucks ass, so now I have to break into an older coffee stash of better bean variety and mix it up with this asstastic coffee to produce a less asstastic blend. Sucks to pinch a penny and only get shit out of it. Damn you Abe Lincoln. Well more like Damn you Benjamin Franklin for not being a better friend to me. All asstasticness aside I am drinking this low-cost brew of morning java, need it for the medicinal properties more than anything. I seems to have awoken with a headache that would make any puketastic hung over lout feel extra proud of their night of debauchery. Of course no such debauchery for me, again because I am more friends with Abe rather than Ben. Tis what I gets for slumming.

Onwards and upwards my dears. (This Arabella Weir title also sounds promising, I’d love to get my hands on a copy.) Always look forward, look into the light, no really, look into the light until your eyes burn and you are momentarily blinded. Why you may ask…well why not, sure it seems to be an exercise in stupidity, but isn’t much of life thataway? We tend to go all willy nilly doing things half cocked just for the sheer pleasure of going against the norm. Oh not you, you say. Well tis is fine, but some of us more adventurous types have no issue with out of the norm tasks…yep…I’m looking at the light, well no not this minute, but I did like two minutes ago. Then my eyes began to burn and I quit, quit like the loser in a game of chicken, Light you win this round, see ya on the flip side.

Red Beans & Rice ~ ♥☺♥ ~

Love me some Red Beans & Rice...yum

 So I am home alone for a spell, a girls got to eat…so that means a girls got to cook…and why am I calling myself a girl??? Okay an old hag has got to eat…yeah, girl sounds better but I am not deluding myself…so anyways….what to cook for one? I looked in the cupboard and it’s almost bare, but there are a couple of boxes of this and that and one of the boxes happened to be Tony Chachere’s Red Beans & Rice…can we say jackpot!!! woohoo

Chicken and sausage…check!!! I love cooking this, all the spices are already in the mix and it takes almost no time to prepare, I usually add both the sausage and the chicken and I’ve got my main dish, a side of mixed veggies and I’m good to go for the next couple of days.

A not So social experiment~

Ruby Cantu

So for the next week or two or more I will be living alone.  ALONE . BY . MYSELF. This will be the longest I will be without my boys, I have never done that so it will be interesting. I love my boys, I miss them. Boy # 1 told me that Boy # 3 cried because I didn’t say goodbye to him, true, GUILTY, I didn’t and Boy # 2 cried just because. Now I doubt any of them really shed a tear for me or my goodbyes, they get to visit with family, go boating and fishing and play video games. I was still asleep when Boy # 3 woke me up and I was not 100% coherent and had not yet made up my mind to head back home, but after getting up and taking a shower I decided it was time to head back, holiday be damned.

So now I am home and I’m hungry, there are a few items in my pantry and I will count everything, I’ve decided on a little experiment for myself, I want to see how long I can go without making a trip to the grocery store. I have plenty of chicken to get me through the next couple of weeks, I have some mesquite smoked sausage and a couple of slices of cheese. Oh one thing I do NEED is cream for my coffee. I had 20 gallons of water but I’m down at least 3.5 gallons. There are a few other odds and ends and this will be great practice for tougher economic times.

So this self serving experiment will test how long I can make the pantry items stretch, how creative I can get with my meals, how the almost complete isolation from other humans will work. As of tomorrow I will only take calls from the boys and Mystery Man. I will limit human contact to the cashier that rings me up and a few other social network interactions. I am relishing the time alone, I can wear my old birthday suit with my grungy socks, don’t have to shower or shave (but I will), I can sleep in or not.

Sabado Gigante~

Giant Saturday…making some French Toast for my babies, heating up some tamales, making another pot of coffee, waiting for my pain meds to kick in…and my sleeping pills, yes pills, I’ve taken two…hoping I can get some much needed sleep. I will get back to my book which has some really great quotes…so I’ll be doing another blog later with quotes from it…but I better get busy and start cooking….

Mid week randomness~

I cooked a pot of beans today, hadn’t done that in a while, had every intention of going all out with a menu full of Mexican food…but the kids didn’t share the same enthusiasm so I cancelled the menu and just made a couple of tortillas for myself and had a couple of bean and cheese burritos. I don’t know what they ate.

Got a load of laundry done, flipped through a couple of magazines, watched a couple of movies I had DVR’d, read for a bit, piddled around online for a bit….same ole, same ole….got dressed to meet a friend and called her right before I headed out, good thing I did as they had cancelled their outing…she offered to meet me anyways and I thought that would be okay, then decided being a bum in my pjs was just as good…so I called her right back and cancelled.

I got a pile of old cosmetology books together and will be getting rid of those…I hope they serve someone well. They were expensive and have a lot of neat braids…I was tempted to keep that one, but I’m offering up the complete set….

Just got off the phone with my baby (my oldest) needing help from mom….I wish I had a big fat wallet and could help him out more than I am able. It sort of pisses me off that his dad doesn’t step up to the plate anymore than he does. Oh well…I will continue to do what I can to help him out even if it means giving up more “luxuries” (like food…lol) in order to see him achieve his dreams.

Deep freeze~ and a self portrait~

Tracy so that you can see I’m not lying…I gots more food stuff…

See there is ice, meat, chicken breastesses, frozen strawberries and if you look real close, there are even frozen veggies.

Oh and yesterday I did a self portrait, I didn’t scan it, just took a picture of it…

Self Portrait ~ Ruby Cantu

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