So many annoyances….

I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.


I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy

I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.

Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…

and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.asshat

A blur of a weekend~

Something about making plans just never seems to work for me…I had planned on taking the boys out this weekend…I didn’t tell them beforehand and they didn’t seem bothered staying in. I was wanting to treat them to a movie and dinner or lunch…instead we stayed in. My back has been hurting to the point of it just being too exhausting to find the energy for anything else. Saturday I spent most of the day in bed…I got up and fixed breakfast, watched a bit of TV and then took a nap. I got up for a while and just wasn’t feeling alert…so I went back to bed. I got up again and fixed dinner, ate and then went back to bed. Too many sleepless nights finally came to a head and I needed the sleep…I’m still tired.

Sunday…early morning I woke Boy # 2 up and had him get ready to go with me to the grocery store…we did that, came home, watched a bit of TV, fiddled with a couple of things….fixed breakfast for lunch and cooked dinner and that just put me back to square one. I am beyond exhausted.

More like several somethings....

Something just doesn’t feel right. I’ve had exhaustion before…but this time I just feel something else is off….I dunno….

Finished reading a book and have another one started.

I’m off to bed. Happy Monday.

I wish I could have a happy Monday………wishes suck. Especially when you can’t make a wish come true.

Three fifteen~

Mexican Coozie~

…as in the date….so anywho I have been back and forth to the laundry room with little piles of dirties to throw in the washer. I’ve sorted 3 large piles and will be tending to laundry all day….it is what happens when I don’t keep up with laundry. Boy # 1 is up and out, Boy # 2 was up but I think he may have gone back to bed and haven’t seen or heard Boy #3 yet. I’ve had my coffee and a shower and I’m getting wiped out and about to go and take a break in front of the telly.

I have another project I want to undertake and that is to go and take everything out of my drawers and refold everything and get things reorganized. Some drawers are overflowing while others are almost empty, so I need to move the sweaters and long sleeve shirts to the bottom drawers and move my tank tops, short sleeve shirts and shorts up. Fun, fun. I will have to enlist the boys’ help for this as I cannot reach the bottom drawers….I’ll bribe them with some $$.

We have thundershowers in the forecast and currently sitting at 48° with a high of  57° expected, this from the temps being in the 80’s yesterday…gotta love these crazy fluctuations.

Last night was a rather sleepless night…I found myself too exhausted to sleep and too exhausted for much of anything else. I did manage to finish reading the book I had been reading for the last couple of days. I was about to start another until I realized that I am missing one in the series so I will have to wait until I read the other one. I will have to make a selection from another genre.

I’ll also work on my series of shorts for the EX Files but I’ll do that later, digging into that darkness wears on me. Later my peeps.


I need to flip the switch~

For the past few days I have been beyond exhausted, I had been fighting sleep during the day but for the last couple of days I’ve given in. I’m not getting much sleep during the day either, but I have taken to bed and maybe napped a few minutes and just laid there resting up before I get up again. I hate it. My mind and my body are firm believers that sleep should be done at night….but even those beliefs are betrayed as I don’t do much sleep during night time hours either. Sleeplessness has been a life constant. But this exhaustion…I don’t know what to make of it…except to blame it on my current condition. Yesterday I could have blamed it on the weather….but today….I don’t know….all I know is that I’m tired.

I look out the window and it looks like it is warm outside, it would be a perfect day for running around….but all the running around I’m doing is mental…in my mind I am thinking of all the places I’d rather be. Different parts of Texas, San Antonio, Dallas, the Rio Grande Valley….California, even Hawaii…though it holds bittersweet memories I imagine taking a trip there and erasing the bad with good….the memories aren’t entirely bad, I make them bad…and I ramble….no, they are bittersweet.

I have also lost the ability to concentrate….for days/weeks I have not read anything news worthy. I am not following current events…I have no clue as to what is going on in the world around me. I don’t like this sense of cluelessness…heck I can’t even read a complete page…

I’m going back to bed.

need sleep/rest/recharge

Sunday funday

806-IrritatedI survived the wall, barely…I had to hurry out of there due to the pain. I got home and took a magical little pain pill and waited for it to kick in, I hate the grogginess and fogginess that comes with it. Watched another stupid movie with the boys, it was supposed to be a horror movie but ended up being funny unintentionally so. Title: “The Happening” and it was so not happening….I am so exhausted, pained, and irritated…I feel like a nap but then I don’t. I’d rather sleep at night…I’m cranky and yelling at the boys…hate doing that…it’s like a switch was flipped….I got them doing errands, and I guess they are going to go to the park…I just cleared the house with my crankass….maybe I’ll take a nap….funday….okay, maybe later…

Restorative break~

All I can do is hope it works, my mental break- that is.

I just got done working on some crafts….painting….angel wings, not sure what the next step is on this craft project as all I’m doing is helping. I’ve got some magazines to read and a new stack of books.

I am physically exhausted and I am in some serious pain, it hits me in waves…to the point of pukiness. The scale is showing an additional 5 pound weight loss, I should be happy about it but this isn’t the way to lose weight. It shows on me, not in a good way, that is a 12 pound loss…oh well as much as I whine about feeling fat…I guess I’ll choose to be happy about it.

I’m off to try for a nap, maybe a nap and just laying down will help.

Coasting to sleep~

Reading a new book, meant to read it to put myself to sleep but that didn’t work, I breezed past 150 pages in as little as 20 minutes, I ended up- up and out of bed a few more times, got back in bed, read some more, put that book down as I knew if I kept reading it I wouldn’t put it down until I finished it. I grabbed another book I had started earlier and finished that one instead. I will finish reading the other one tonight. I have a few books I need to gather and bag along with some clothes I have intended for freecycle. Still debating whether I should hit the road or not, mentally I need to get away, physically I don’t know if I should put myself through it or not. Financially it is another matter….if I get away will I end up spending my time away in pain and too exhausted to enjoy my time away? Lately I’ve been experiencing a different kind of pain, I will have to put up with it over the weekend, I do need to refill my scrip, I’m about out and have my last refill, I should have called in for something different….just wish life would settle down to some kind of normal, I fear my sanity is leaving me, did I ever have sanity, I don’t know anymore, at least not right now I don’t know.

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