I don’t hate you, I’m just disappointed you turned into everything you said you’d never be.

I don’t hate you, I’m just disappointed you turned into everything you said you’d never be.

Weak….I hate your weakness. You want something but you aren’t afraid to let it go without a fight. You’ve proved giving up is easier than fighting.

You want better than what you have or what you get, but you deserve what you have and what you got. Suck it up cupcake.

Look in the mirror and be sick with what looks back at you, all you can do is stop looking or break the damn mirror.

You are great at giving sound advice but far be it from you to follow what you preach. Just think how far ahead you could be if you listened to yourself once in a while.

Am I talking to you? or talking to myself? or just talking…… 

The Jaded Files…part one in random order…

Dreaming of indulging in a book buying spree…..visiting cemeteries….picking a spot…though not for me…..watching movies….dancing in another life….moon/sun bathing and seeking immortality…..though not for me…

Traveling, the beach, the moon, the night, fire, vampires, music, the smell of old books, life…

I know I don’t have to be a house to be haunted…..normal isn’t one of my virtues….I try to live a good life. If you are a good friend and you are just, then you will not care how bad I have been, but will welcome me based on the virtues I have lived by….even though we have already established that normal isn’t one of my virtues…if you are unjust, then you should not want to know me…I will strive to live a noble life that will live on in the memories of my loved ones…I want to better embrace the goodness in people, I want to create more goodness in my life…I want to reinvent myself as a frolicking jolly do gooder….don’t laugh…I already did…I almost can’t picture me as a frolicker…..

Two years from now I don’t want to be more disappointed by the things that I didn’t do than by the ones that I did do….sleepless nights are a waste of time…and not much is worth it…I know this….yet I can’t sleep…I need to see more of the world….we all need to….we never know if we are gonna drop dead in the next ten seconds…why do I believe what I believe….who imposed it on me…..was it imposed or did I find it out for myself….ah….questions, many questions and not enough answers….thinking of my cousin who lost her hubby, so young, though I didn’t know him well I still feel for her and her family and their loss. RIP T.C.

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