# 89765432 & # 23453789

Random numbers, because names would just open up a can of worms….so I had this whole diatribe in my head and on paper…well no not paper, on WORD….it stemmed from a revelation in a conversation with # 89765432 which in turn had caused me to have an epiphany of ginormous proportions.

# 23453789 had once upon made some statements regarding the “sexes”…yes men and women….but from the conversation with # 89765432 I had come away realizing or piecing together some “character” flaws regarding # 23453789…then the bubble burst…or rather the dam did….and #23453789’s previous statement came back semi full circle….SIGH….

Friendships are hard, people are complicated, present company included. Sometimes being friendless is the best thing…so cheers to solitude and reflection…and HEB Creamy Creations Butter Pecan Ice Cream and books…about blood, guts, killing…and all that good stuff….oh and fucking too. But not fucking like you might think…more like mind fucking…I guess I shoulda just said mind fucking….so anywho my gang banged brain is off to do some relaxing reading….and put shit out of my head…..

FLUSH!

Shitstorms….

When it rains, it pours. It rained earlier, it was much-needed. It didn’t rain shit. Just water.

The shitstorms I’m alluding to are the things I am saving up to fix. Only to discover something else to add to the list. Not too long ago I had my bathroom shower retiled….well that was a crappy job it is now cracking and I’m sure if I was to complain to the individual that did the work I’d probably be told that the “house” has shifted and that is why the work is falling apart. *Sigh…can’t catch a break. Not that I would bother hunting down that person, I paid for other work and it too was half assed. Like the big girl that I am all I can do is hoist my granny panties all the way up my crack and suck it up. But before I do that I get to bitch and vent here. I am not up to verbally whining about it at this point….tomorrow or the day after or whenever that tomorrow is I will probably laugh about it.

Life sucks big fat purple monkey balls.

I wish I could get ahold of those balls and do a not so gentle pull and twist just to even things out a bit. And just to add a bit of snark…it is ALL a MAN’s fault. There I said…bite me!

Oh and I got my fix earlier….I was tired and made myself get out to run a quick errand, thankfully boy # 3 ran in and picked up what we needed. I sorta semi snoozed while he went in. Now I’m awake so I will probably do a bit of reading in the hope I can read myself to sleep.

Time to refocus….

…and disengage….and re-engage in other areas…today was somewhat productive, got laundry done (some, not all, as laundry is one of those damn pesky never-ending, never done, has to get done pesky chores…) and done is not quite accurate as putting stuff away is part of the done process….so half assed done…hey it’s better than nothing….went grocery shopping, forgot milk, damn it.

Read for a while, watched TV for a bit, hung out with the kidlets, left them alone then they came to my room to hang out some more. Gotta love ’em, just wish my oldest was close by.

Sat down with my bucket of ice cream, box of cones and pigged out….but I balanced it out with yard work and a salad.

My back is not happy with me, but it’s not like I can afford a landscaping crew….and nobody around here feels any responsibility in maintaining a clean yard….ohoh…here comes the bitchventscreamcrap….

WAH….I am so fucking tired….tired of taking care of EVERY FUCKING THING. Well not done taking care of shit, more like worrying about it…I have some areas needing MAJOR REPAIRS. Like a board that is holding the electrical wires that is somewhat detached from the house, it is barely hanging on….I’d hate to see it give….I’ve paid for a half assed repair, that didn’t last…yeah kinda got screwed on that one….I need to focus on getting the funds together for that….so major cutting back on…hmmm…not sure what….yeah no more indulging in ice cream….or going out, so yeah, work and home and that is it.

Well I’m off to focus on other schtuff….

I feel better now that I got to whine a bit….thank you internets, I wuv ewe….

Missiles, Mirrors and Misery

Again with the volleys, the reflections and introspection.

Disgusted with the defensives

Illusions shattered

Egos battered

 

Some people (as well-intentioned as they think they are) can just totally suck the life out of you. Around them there is no point in sharing joy, sorrow or any other human quality. No matter how well we think we know someone, we never truly do. I don’t want anyone to ever know me, surface wise I am trusting, even to a level that goes deep I can trust, but to say that I could trust anyone (ever) 100%, well that will never happen. I am jaded, completely, realistically and that has its own baggage….but I’m happy with where I’m at and that I can see people for who they are, I may not like what I see, what I discover, but at the end those little discoveries paint a big picture, after all is said and done it is the big picture that matters, that and all the brush strokes it took to get it just right. And everything is just right.

How are you?

Random Radomness

Vanity be thy name, well no not at all.

There is a creature of sorts (my guess would be a fucking cutesy squirrel that ain’t gonna be so cute if we meet) chewing on something under my house. Not sure what the fuck it is. The damn squatter will hopefully be smart enough to leave on its own after we (by we I mean my boys) move some boards or die soon….then of course I may end up having to contend with the death stench. Life just doesn’t want to come easy….sheesh…if I didn’t marinate in bad luck I’d have none of it.

Went shopping today….stop number one yielded a skirt and a blouse, stop number two was more giving…I ended up with a skirt, jeans, bra, shoes, tights, trouser socks, and some other socks, some organic conditioner, 3 bags of Godiva chocolate, an HDMI cord and I paid nothing! (cause I used my gift cards and gift certificates I earned from my rewards cards.) I still have enough left over to shop for the boys….but I’m waiting for the prices to drop some more.

I did a load of laundry and I’ve yet to iron it….I did manage to put most of it away….that included stuff from the last time I did laundry.

Had a short convo (if it can even be called that, heck it wasn’t even long enough for me to bother spelling out the whole word) with the oven this morning….I am just left SHM….and wondering…oh well…on to other randomosity….

Got my nails done….by self…and tomorrow I will probably be undoing and redoing again. I am just no good at keeping my nail polish from smudging or chipping.

Also thinking of going shorter with the do….we shall see….I love the lightheadedness….

Back hurts, back is a bitch…which serves as a reminder that I am one too…..

Having lunch with my daughter from another mother tomorrow….can’t seem to decide on the where…last week we had lunch and I was so Italianed out…but funny thing is I’m craving Italian again….but I think I’ll cook Italian Saturday and leave it open for either Mexican or Chinese tomorrow….

It’s all I have for now….unless I can think of anything to add to this….

And piss on any busy bodies reading this….yes, PISS ON YOU!!!

Sludging through bitters….

there is a fetid feel in the air, trudging through the halls
hitting the walls like shit that hits the fan
there isn’t a way to take it out like yesterdays garbage
so it wafts and infuses itself with all it touches
it takes a spark to set it off, air to carry it around and bitterness to hold on to  it
merry fucking joy joy …..

Sola~

Home alone….hadn’t been home alone in a while…enjoying it, have laundry going, I’m still in my nighty and will remain so until I actually have to get clothes on…got my coffee, newspapers, DVR’d stuff, and a book I’ve been trying to finish reading. Today will be a lazy day for as long as I can make it lazy, I will have to cook later and do other domestic stuff…but for now laziness is mine.

Awww shoe

Achoo, ah shoo….whichever, whatever I just hate this morning ritual of sneezing. Once again I have been up since way too early…which makes for a longer day and confusion to my belly. I am starving and thinking donuts or lunch, something hot, crunchy, spicy, cheesy with maybe bacon and guacamole.

I started doing some dusting and that only made the sneezing worse…so I’m taking a blogging break. Cleaning here and there at my slow pace has helped in getting rid of things, yesterday I got rid of 3 boxes of stuff and I’m working on filling up a bag today, I’m out of boxes so bags will have to do. Have another pile of stuff that needs to be laundered and another pile that needs to be put away….putting stuff away is not my favorite part of the laundry process, I would happily do laundry all day if I could just skip the putting it away part.

Break is over, back to dusting, sneezing and putting things away and either my appetite will go away or I will have to scrounge around for food.

 

In a blur~

I can’t believe how fast this week has gone by. I love it. I guess keeping my nose in books and piddling around has made time fly by. I feel like I haven’t done much of anything that could be considered productive. But that is inconsequential as somehow the days have blurred on by. I just want time to zip by, I’m ready to get there!

Started a project today but hit a snag, went to the supply getting place and was sent all over the place in search of what I was looking for…quite frustrating when the store has a bazillion people “working” but nobody is qualified to actually help. Usually I don’t ask for help when I’m in one of those types of supply getting places…mainly because I don’t know the name of the item I’m looking for and I suck at describing what I need so I wander around looking…well this time I knew what I needed and thought I’d save me the hassle and of course I struck out.

Gas was turned on this morning so I was able to indulge in a big breakfast….now I’m feeling like a cow. A big fat brown cow.

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