So many annoyances….

I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.


I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy

I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.

Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…

and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.asshat


When it rains, it pours. It rained earlier, it was much-needed. It didn’t rain shit. Just water.

The shitstorms I’m alluding to are the things I am saving up to fix. Only to discover something else to add to the list. Not too long ago I had my bathroom shower retiled….well that was a crappy job it is now cracking and I’m sure if I was to complain to the individual that did the work I’d probably be told that the “house” has shifted and that is why the work is falling apart. *Sigh…can’t catch a break. Not that I would bother hunting down that person, I paid for other work and it too was half assed. Like the big girl that I am all I can do is hoist my granny panties all the way up my crack and suck it up. But before I do that I get to bitch and vent here. I am not up to verbally whining about it at this point….tomorrow or the day after or whenever that tomorrow is I will probably laugh about it.

Life sucks big fat purple monkey balls.

I wish I could get ahold of those balls and do a not so gentle pull and twist just to even things out a bit. And just to add a bit of snark…it is ALL a MAN’s fault. There I said…bite me!

Oh and I got my fix earlier….I was tired and made myself get out to run a quick errand, thankfully boy # 3 ran in and picked up what we needed. I sorta semi snoozed while he went in. Now I’m awake so I will probably do a bit of reading in the hope I can read myself to sleep.

Random and rained on~

So last night I bitched about the rain gods not bringing rain to my neck of the woods….well the rain gods decided to spit down at me and my hood. I even stepped out and let the rain fall on me. It felt good except the sidewalk was still pretty warm. My yard needed it, though I don’t imagine that it rained enough to bring my parched yard back to life.

I shouldn’t be bitching about much, I’ve been reading some harrowing stories of the plight of the famine and drought stricken Somali’s. I read with tears spilling out- of mothers having to make a choice no mother should have to make. Which child to leave behind to die….they are trekking to camps in hopes of food and water and medical attention, the mothers are too weak to carry the kids and the ones collapsing along the way are simply left there in hopes that they are able to save the rest of their family. It is hard to fathom how in this day and age the concept of birth control is still not practiced universally.

I’m thankful that I am still able to provide for my kids, even if it’s all on plastic and I’ll have to deal with the fallout later. Well enough randomness for one evening, I am off to take a cold shower.

Thar She Blows~

I tried keeping our insurance, (thanks for nothing HUMANA) but food and other necessities (such as electricity, water, mortgage, etc) trump healthcare coverage. So I paid out the ASS for this stupid policy only to have to not just cover the higher copays, but also 100% of my doctor visits, exams, lab work, x-rays and prescriptions, mind you everything was in-network. So basically I paid out the ASS to carry around 3 useless insurance cards. I’m trying to not do the math because it pisses me off and then I start bawling and turn into a blubbering mess in my bedroom with the door locked so the kids don’t have to see/hear me. What I paid for useless insurance coverage would have taken care of all the school supplies, new school clothes and maybe even a frivolous steak or two.

Thank you dear blog of mine for your great eyes and ears, you bear witness to my struggles, my loneliness, my joys, my happiness, my nonsense, my drivel, my randomness and my life. I don’t ask much of you and I appreciate that you let me vent. (Because you are mine.)

I have something else to bitch about…a virus, not the kind that makes one sick, unless one is a formerly cute little Dell Mini….a virus has rendered my Dell Mini useless and I just don’t have the $$ to fix you right now, so I will bury you in your coffin until I can take you to the doctor. Because children needing physicals for school take precedence over you, you get to lay in wake for a while. RIP for now little red friend of mine.

I need sleep, so if anything sounds stupid…I blame the bitch called insomnia, she isn’t letting me have my way with my pillows and covers. I hate her. I’m not even sure she is a she, but I don’t want to hear anyone bitching or whining about me being a man hater if I get to calling insomnia an asshole.

Book ponderings~

Faith is believing in what you know to be false….

Very little is more irritating than the speech patterns of someone we know to be intelligent yet who is ignorant of grammar and correct usage.

He admired her strength until it overshadowed his. Then he sought to diminish her. She acquiesced well past the time she knew she should have stopped, sadly she was hoping he would have admired her resolve and her independence, he wasn’t man enough for her.

They all tried to change her, from muzzling her when she spoke her mind, to putting her down for daring to show she had a mind of her own.

She awoke one day to realize she hadn’t met a man yet who would have the balls to be a man. The balls he carried were nothing more than a scratching post or a couple of play things useful for warming up a cold hand.

Don’t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don’t be a “conservative.”  They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they’re perpetual victims.

Go out and live life. Make real friends that are there for you and will have your back.

Don’t gay bash. Don’t mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It’s none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.

Randomness, updates and whatnots

The Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger wrote that living happily is “the desire of all men, but their minds are blinded to a clear vision of just what it is that makes a life happy.”

This is something that I can relate to. …and I know of at least a few others that struggle with this. …for me this means that whatever set of beliefs we own can sometimes get in the way of happiness….what a struggle…see for me this has been playing out these past couple of days, weeks, months….but this isn’t quite the forum for such a deep and personal subject, so not sure why I’m even thinking/talking/typing bout it… moving on….

This morning my allergies were bitchin’…most mornings that is what gets me up, so in conclusion yes, I am once again allergic to mornings…for a while I had outgrown it….so anyways…they’re back, have been back….I sneezed so hard that I didn’t have time to pull my hair out-of-the-way and you guessed it…I sneezed snot into my hair…yes…TMI and gross.

I didn’t call the pharmacy to check on my prescriptions…I talked my doc into higher doses of some of the stuff I’m already taking. I now wished I had checked to see if they were ready for pickup. I suppose I could still check, they are after all open 24/7. But I am not fit to drive at this time so might as well wait until tomorrow. Wish I had someone here I could send for a pickup….not sure what I did to my back…but I’m back to shuffling around with my walker. I so hate it. It’s now nearing a year since my last surgery and still no relief from this constant pain. When it gets this bad my anxiety goes up, and I also have other thoughts I’d rather not get into…

Oh and I think my doc must have needed some extra spending money as he talked me into a flu shot (my right arm still is sore from where they poked me) and a crapload of lab work….so I had them bleed me dry, 6 tubes of blood, both arms as the vein in my left arm clotted up before they got what they needed. They better find something wrong with me to justify the additional costs….sheesh…like I can afford all this….

Well enough bitching, moaning and whining…time to try to get myself in bed…just hope I can get up in the morning….


fuckity, fuck, fuck

Today has been a day of many ponderings…actually yesterday as I am now at Tuesday with Monday long gone…

I had a bothersome morning paying bills, there was a substantial increase to my medical insurance, I have my vehicle registration due soon, I received another notice from my doctor’s office concerning the unpaid balance…I had to settle a dispute with my wheelchair vendor…I gave it up, so it will be picked up, glad I didn’t get rid of the older wheelchair. My back has been killing me…yes, it was self-induced and well deserved…FML. Sunday was not a good day, I overdosed on pain meds to the point where I was throwing up, but lets not be all negative and offend anyone with my negativity…some good came of that, Boy # 2 finished cooking…and did a great job. I’m looking to strike a balancing chord on my blog, temper the negatives and the positives…so if I start whining too much, please somebody reel me in…

Or not…this is after all my blog, my little place in the world where I should feel safe bitching, moaning and whining…I should be able to say anything and if anyone finds that it offends them, or bores them or finds my pity party too depressing they have a choice…there is a red X in the right upper hand corner that will make this page go away….

I think the meds are talking more than I am…hmmmm…what’s good about that…oh yeah…the pain is not as intense…wooodafuckhoo…

I am incredibly snarky and jaded.

I need to try for bed…where I can lie on my heating pad and burn my back some more…what’s good about that…hmmm…can’t feel a damn fucking thing…woohoo see something good about nerve damage…yay…FML

Well I am off to try to read myself to sleep…key word TRY.



It is a bit blustery~

It is about 54 degrees out, but a bit on the windy side. I took a shower earlier and my hair is still wet….I stepped out for a bit and now I can’t seem to get warmed up. I’ve got my big fuzzy Ruby Red robe on and my big fuzzy black slippers on and a blanket on my lap and still I can’t get warm. Which is crazy, at night I am in heat….not that kind of heat…haha.

Anyhoo I was laid up on my couch earlier watching TV and then my back decided I needed to move positions, which I did, I just couldn’t find a good spot so I decided to come to my room and sit at my desk for a while. I’ve got my Doctor’s phone number in front of me and need to call and schedule an appointment. I just dread the trip back to Austin so I keep putting it off. I don’t want to bother anyone to take me and I know I’m not quite ready to go on my own. I hate that….I hate having to ask anyone to drive me around…I much rather be a shut in than do that….and I’ll stop there before I turn this into a bitching rant.

This morning I saw the previews for “Dear John” the movie based on the novel of the same name by Nicholas Sparks. I just picked up that book last night and today I find out it was made into a movie….to read or to watch or to both? That is the question…I think I’ll do both….besides it’ll be at least a couple of years before I get to see the movie. Speaking of movies, boy # 1 brought some movies last night, so this evening we will watch The Proposal. Guess I better try for a nap so I can stay awake.

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