This year has been brutal, plumbing problems and repairs, central air repairs, vehicle repairs, the bazillion and one flats (I’m at 30+) tire repairs and replacements….just can’t seem to catch a break…then someone is screwing around with my accounts….I wish I knew who I pissed off or who has decided to be a dickwad, asshole, bitch, fucktard….I just can’t fathom who would go out of their way to make me their target. And I say repairs because it has been like putting cheap ass Band-Aids that won’t stay put…I’ve debated doing a police report on my flats….yes it is vandalism and destruction of property, not to mention that someone is getting on to my property to fuck with my vehicle. For that matter this asshole could also be fucking with my AC unit as well as the plumbing, all that shit can be fucked with from outside….I’ve thought of taking matters into my own hands…but it’s also inconvenient….but the tremendous heat we have had has sucked balls this year…when it reaches 90+ degrees inside it is not fun….not when I add hot flashes to the mix….I’m at a loss…the next step is installation of cameras outside…like if I could afford this shit….***sigh…
So many annoyances….
I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.
I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy
I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.
Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…
and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.
What? Yeah…..some trends that have been growing exponentially….on Facebook most days I feel like I don’t know the place anymore….I used to enjoy my drop-ins and contributions to make someone smile or think….nowI feel like I accidentally stumbled back in time and I’m in church….the Church of Facebook….where there are all sorts of condemnations…..or back when I’d drop in at the town’s local pancake and coffee shop and the old timers would get into heated discussions over politics….***SIGH**** I do miss the old Facebook….I know some of the going ons are trends, the pet posting, the trout pout pics, etc, etc….anywho I’ll stop bitching about that….
Day off from job 1, so much to do and waiting on motivation, savoring my coffee…still doing laundry, have ironing to do, clothes to put away,a vacuum to run, a list of things I want to put together and photograph and hopefully sell, if not off to freecycle. I also have to try to finish my haircut….I can get one side just right or close enough to where it does what I want to, but I get challenged with the other side, I’ll eventually get it to where I’m okay with it or where I give up and let it grow out again.
My cup is almost dry…so I’ll be wrapping things up, shower, haircut, ironing station setup, may watch a movie while I do that….then I’m hoping for a nap before I go to job 2…..I want to enter a drawing for maid service for a year….and win….where do I sign up????
Some days I just want to punch people in the face. Doing something of no benefit to myself (rather at a cost I can ill afford) only to have someone act all ass about it as if I am creating an inconvenience. Wow, I just don’t get where the sense and sensibility went to. Yeah I may need a stiff one after this (drink that is) but I also need a nap….which I just don’t see happening….Calgon take me away….wash me away…PLEASE……….
Venting has concluded you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
…and disengage….and re-engage in other areas…today was somewhat productive, got laundry done (some, not all, as laundry is one of those damn pesky never-ending, never done, has to get done pesky chores…) and done is not quite accurate as putting stuff away is part of the done process….so half assed done…hey it’s better than nothing….went grocery shopping, forgot milk, damn it.
Read for a while, watched TV for a bit, hung out with the kidlets, left them alone then they came to my room to hang out some more. Gotta love ’em, just wish my oldest was close by.
Sat down with my bucket of ice cream, box of cones and pigged out….but I balanced it out with yard work and a salad.
My back is not happy with me, but it’s not like I can afford a landscaping crew….and nobody around here feels any responsibility in maintaining a clean yard….ohoh…here comes the bitchventscreamcrap….
WAH….I am so fucking tired….tired of taking care of EVERY FUCKING THING. Well not done taking care of shit, more like worrying about it…I have some areas needing MAJOR REPAIRS. Like a board that is holding the electrical wires that is somewhat detached from the house, it is barely hanging on….I’d hate to see it give….I’ve paid for a half assed repair, that didn’t last…yeah kinda got screwed on that one….I need to focus on getting the funds together for that….so major cutting back on…hmmm…not sure what….yeah no more indulging in ice cream….or going out, so yeah, work and home and that is it.
Well I’m off to focus on other schtuff….
I feel better now that I got to whine a bit….thank you internets, I wuv ewe….
Friendships…friendchips….yeah I’d take the latter that way I could still eat the chips…and not feel like I needed to be on a ship…sigh**
That’s about all I can muster, my last day off was Easter…by the look of things I won’t have a day off until next month….I am exhausted and hurting….I think the constant pain is just draining me. But I have things to do, places to go and people to see…getting boy # 2’s checking account set up, a two-day affair, but at least that’ll get done without him having to miss school. I still need to get them both in to see their doctor for immunizations…need groceries again, laundry…neverending list of domestic chores…sigh***
Also visited with a banker about a possible refinance, laughably my debt to income ratio is high, my only “real” debt being the house….FMH. If I could secure a one year lease on the rental then that would help…but can’t do that at this point….anywho I think I’ll try for a nap before I go to work…I hate not being fully alert….
Stupid is as stupid does, and I have been on a roll. I suffered a bit with hyperactivity a couple of days ago….couldn’t keep myself to any single task…consequently I hand washed my car, I worked on scraping paint off the coffee table, I baked lemon bars, I did laundry, I swept, I vacuumed (not that it looks like I did) then I piddled around starting other things that I just didn’t get to completing….and what did I get for all this….yeah this is where the stupid part comes in…PAIN….lots of fucking back pain…I almost didn’t want to stop everything I was doing, once I stop I start to intensely feel the aftereffects of all my moving around, bending, stooping, stretching, pulling and pushing…**SIGH*** when will LIFE (without pain) go back to “normal” (whatever the fuck normal is…)
Had another session of dramatics…not a fan of that….I’d much rather pull my eyelashes out one by one…or shave my toes…but all is well now…gotta go wake the kidlets up…
Well the damn weeds will not pull themselves the fuck out. So I am on my knees, I’m stooped over and I’m killing my already killed back doing what nobody else seems to think they need to do. Yeah sure having a landscaper would be great, but I’m the damn landscaper, not that I’m scaping the land, but I sure as hell am trying to keep it from becoming overgrown with weeds. I’m also stripping paint off of a coffee table so I can repaint it, I don’t yet know what color I’ll be doing it, maybe something bright and unexpected or maybe boring black.