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Posts Tagged ‘awake’

So many annoyances….

Religion…
I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
I-huh….
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
I-huh
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.

Dating….

I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy

I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.

Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…

and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.asshat

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Imma gonna lay off the garlic today...

Imma gonna lay off the garlic today...

Happy Friday and I hope this early morning shot at my ASSets doesn’t make you throw up in your mouth too much, but if it is too late for that…SORRY….

I’ve been up since like forever, da pain, da fucking pain is keeping me awake. I just popped another pill, note to self, call pharmacy for a refill. I am tired and a bit unhinged, I woke up, well no I didn’t, I was awake, I got up and out of bed, and was looking in the mirror and scared myself. I need a haircut…yeah I know I just cut it a couple of times…I didn’t cut enough…one of my boys just came in to hug me good bye as he left for school, and no it wasn’t Andrew, it was Derrick…he thinks he is getting too old to show affection, so it is always nice when he comes up to hug me.

On da agenda today if I have the energy to muster it will be to dust everything I can reach….which will look funny when you can see how dusty everything else will look.

Oh the chili I made yesterday was all gone….yay. I made a big enough pot of it so it was good to see it all gone. Today on the menu?? Pizza…I guess…I don’t know, sounds good, besides I have cooked all week.

Well I think enough morning ramblings, my bed should be plenty heated by my heating pad, maybe that will help my back.

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Up and at ’em

Hate not been able to catch some zzz’s, sleep is much needed, instead I lay here awake. I can smell the late night snacking, I faintly hear voices, theirs and the tv. I keep dozing as I try to write this

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In a nutshell…every damn thing. I’m tired, really, really tired,but my body is fighting it. My eyelids are fucking heavy….so why the fuck can’t I just go to bed and sleep….ughh. it is effing frustrating….sorry about the F bomb up there…I’m just effing frustrated, and tired….and you know I just had a thought….or rather a realization….I have not been able to sneeze in almost two months. I feel the sneeze building up, but just as it begins to build my body braces itself and then I supress it. I know that is not very smart, I’ve heard it can kill you…but I feel if I do sneeze that’ll kill me too. You see I don’t sneeze like a girl….I sneeze like a small bomb going off….and it hurts normally, right now it hurts just as it builds up…I can’t release it….I took a pill a bit ago…I think I’ll pop another one…then I will be here or in bed with my mini….either writing, or reading….and hoping against hope I can sleep. I did get the boys in bed early…or rather I told them they needed to call it a night at midnight. I’ll go and check on them in a few…school starts next week and they need to get their bodies adjusted to day and night…

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I hate that I can’t sleep, my attempts at self medicating didn’t work, but at least my mini fridge is stocked. So what is in store for me today….hmm…well in a few I intend to give up on trying to sleep, it’s pointless, I’ve checed out a few blogs, and read a few emails…I will be reading a few newswires…check out what is going on in the world of the living….my frustration at being alone with myself is wearing thin…how did I become so isolated? Well I know the answer to that….so what am I going to do about it? Stay tuned……….

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