Rough translation….the straw that broke the camels back…anywho…the adoption has been cancelled. The old fuck really fucked up. The thing about some old school old people is that they feel they are in the right simply because they are old or older. That doesn’t cut it for me. I have systematically been reducing the nonsense that has no place in my life. Getting screwed over after going above and beyond to help someone and no appreciation as to what I’ve had to give up or juggle. My plate is full….I have no problem sharing, or doing for someone else…if it is within my abilities to do so…but to take advantage of everyone that has extended a helping hand and screwing everyone over….other people I brought in to help. countless lives affected…yeah…I can put a stop to that….and I can cut you out in a heartbeat. I’m getting better at it….along with being forceful in how I take care of what needs to be taken care of.
So many annoyances….
I(idiot…no not me…but yeah, sometimes I can be) Why don’t you believe?
R(me) Why do you?
I-I was raised Catholic
R-That’s all you got?
I-yes, I was raised in the church and that’s what my parents taught me.
R-Sounds like indoctrination
I-No, it was how I was raised
R-again, Sounds like indoctrination
R-yeah, that’s what I thought….you are basically telling me that you only believe because you were told to, taught to, take your pick, me, I just formed my own thoughts and opinions, and they may be wrong, but at least I’m formulating my own thoughts and not espousing someone else’s views that are just passed on generationally.
R-no bible thumping please, I had my fill from one idiot (or two) to last me a lifetime.
I have simple criteria….that means 3 basic things have to be met before I consider a date…
1. Must have a job
2. Must have transportaion (preferably your own)
3. Must not live with mommy
I’m not looking for a boyfriend (I’m too old for that) I don’t need, like or want a needy, insecure and clingy asshat. Don’t call me, then call me back 15 minutes later and tell me you’ve missed me. Then whine that I don’t like you or ever say I miss you. Hello…you need to give me time to miss you…so go away…stay away…be gone for a week…or two…or even three….I can’t stand a needy person.
Never ending home repairs…sigh…enough said…
and insomnia….I hate insomnia…gives me too much time to think about this shit that annoys me…but I have to keep it in because if I tell the asshats and idiots how I really feel they get butt hurt…I just can’t find it in me to give a shit sometimes….I know…breathe…and type…bitch or blow….now time to go make me some coffee and get ready for work. Happy Monday to me.
So much has happened and this update will be disjointed….
Loss….we are still reeling from our losses…I know I am, some that took me by surprise…or rather the reactions to said losses shook me up. Friend, aunt, grandmother, father….we are still assimilating and will be for a good while, you think you close a chapter and finish that book…only to find a sequel to get you going again. I hate that my kids have to go through these upheavals…nothing has broken me in so long than not being able to comfort my son over such a devastating loss. I’m used to loss, it is one of the reasons I don’t form attachments….any who….yeah….that currently is the big one sucking big fat purple monkey balls….puts trivial shit into perspective…like some fucktard asshat getting all territorial about public places I should be thinking of venturing in….I could kick my ass for replying to a juvenile email regarding previously stated nonsense. (Yes, a good bitching and venting seems to be in order)
Another school year is also coming to an end, with that…another son leaving, but we will have a new face taking his place….changes, so many changes….soon it will be time to sell and move on….actually I’m still selling, by the time the last one leaves I want all my furniture gone, I don’t yet know where I am going but I do know I don’t need all the crap I have accumulated.
As I’m typing away I also find that while in my head I still have a lot to say, I have also lost my desire to write…..this may be the end….
Most people with low self esteem have earned it….just saying….
Ms LifeTeachesUsTruths sat in the dark for many a moon rotation…one night- while counting feet on a caterpillar she had an epiphany.
Her thought roiled in her mushy sleep deprived drug addled brain…”So you say men will only talk to me because they want in my pants….”
Hmmmm….chewing the food for thought..
Good thing you don’t speak for all men….YOU speak for YOURSELF and your thoughts are only a reflection of YOUR character. Ever fucked up character, but yours and yours alone.
I’m thankful I have processed this thought…sure the answers were there…I just didn’t take the time to formulate a response at the time. And yes I’ll give you that one, YOU may have only talked to me with the intent of getting acquainted with my lovely lady parts….and that was all you got. For as long as that immature thought lives with you, you will only get what you are after and those lovely lady parts aren’t much…a person is a sum of all their parts, yes lovely parts included….but true worth of a person goes well beyond that.
Epiphanies are awesome!!
Conversation with a friend…All I ever get is that special someone who pretends to love me for who I am, then gradually wants to change me over a period of several years (or the much lesser months ) until we both hate me.
Nah…I’m good! LOL
When it rains, it pours. It rained earlier, it was much-needed. It didn’t rain shit. Just water.
The shitstorms I’m alluding to are the things I am saving up to fix. Only to discover something else to add to the list. Not too long ago I had my bathroom shower retiled….well that was a crappy job it is now cracking and I’m sure if I was to complain to the individual that did the work I’d probably be told that the “house” has shifted and that is why the work is falling apart. *Sigh…can’t catch a break. Not that I would bother hunting down that person, I paid for other work and it too was half assed. Like the big girl that I am all I can do is hoist my granny panties all the way up my crack and suck it up. But before I do that I get to bitch and vent here. I am not up to verbally whining about it at this point….tomorrow or the day after or whenever that tomorrow is I will probably laugh about it.
Life sucks big fat purple monkey balls.
I wish I could get ahold of those balls and do a not so gentle pull and twist just to even things out a bit. And just to add a bit of snark…it is ALL a MAN’s fault. There I said…bite me!
Oh and I got my fix earlier….I was tired and made myself get out to run a quick errand, thankfully boy # 3 ran in and picked up what we needed. I sorta semi snoozed while he went in. Now I’m awake so I will probably do a bit of reading in the hope I can read myself to sleep.
- Call Dr’s office again…only to wait a day or two for the asshats to call me back.
- Call insurance asshats again and be jerked around some more.
- Call food service director and reapply for school lunches.
- Try to find energy & motivation.
- If above are located, make trip to bank and pharmacy.
- Gather additional items to freecycle.
- Look for specific items for specific individual in need.
- Hope to eliminate pain. bullets anyone?