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Archive for the ‘~~Water Cooler Stories~~’ Category

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.  
This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK)
 
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!  This virus will wipe out your private life entirely.  If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).  Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.  If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

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I am not notoriously known for hearing strange noises but there is a continuous thud that is setting me up for a mid morning mental breakdown. There is a chirping bird mad at the world; either that or it is just a blind stupid bird that insists on banging itself against my office window. I think the bird may have flown into a crack pipe before landing outside my office. This bird seems particularly persistent. I am quite free and unencumbered with work that I believe I may be up to a little bit of arts & craft time. I wonder if a simple silhouette of a hawk in the window would discourage the bird from flying into it. I don’t have construction paper so I’ll have to improvise; I’ll have to Google me a pic of a big mean bird I can cut out and tape to the window. I just had a thought…I wonder if it’s bird mating season and the bird sees it’s reflection and it turns itself on…I mean that’s what I go through when I look in the mirror, I see myself and I’ll be like damn, that is some hotness and then I think I could be a lesbian and fall for me…but anywho back to the bird…..I’m about to go and try the taped to the window bird picture and see if that works…

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