The EX Files ~ Part 5

***To read the complete series go to “CATEGORIES” on the right side and click on “THE WRITE STUFF”.***

She realized that he was an insecure man, jealous, controlling and not all together very bright, but he also had a mean streak to him that terrified her. She had in mind that her vows were meant to last a lifetime, but would she? Every day the reminders of her stupidity were repeated, he could not let her get out of the house without reminding her that she was his.

In another world, the one where she would go to for her job, she had friends, she had laughter and she had freedom. There she could be herself, she could have articulate conversations, she could share a joke, her friends got her sense of humor, they didn’t judge her, and they didn’t want to change her. She was perfect just the way she was. She was the only one that could not see it.

He began to notice the changes in her and determined that he did not like where things were going. He could see that she had begun to rebel against him, he wasn’t going to allow that. He began to call her throughout the work day; it got to where she had to stay close by the phone when the clock indicated his shift at his job had ended. She was embarrassed that he was calling her so much; she didn’t want her coworkers to hear her conversations with him. She would have to reassure him that she was indeed at work that was confirmed by her answering the phone. When she didn’t answer he would berate her for not getting to the phone, she tried to explain to him that at times she would be assisting customers making it impossible for her to get to the phone.

One beautiful spring day was marred by the reflection hitting a vehicle out in the parking lot and shining into the store front window. Her coworkers came to her and warned her to be careful when she left home after her shift ended, they had noted the car and its driver parked around the lot in different places, but always with a vantage point into the store front. She became mortified when she realized it was her husband. Now she realized why the calls had become infrequent, she also realized why their son was always warm to the touch when she got home and picked him. He had kept their son with him in the car exposed to the hot son while he kept an eye on her.

It was a maddening situation and she knew she would be in for a long night, she had not done anything but go to work and return home after her shift. She already was aware that every evening upon her return he would go to her vehicle and check the mileage and question any discrepancy on the odometer. She dared not go anywhere else and risk his rage and accusations, she had no other place to go but to her job. She would even take her lunch with her so that he wouldn’t question the additional miles on the vehicle. When her coworkers invited her out she would make excuses about not having money on her, or not being hungry or explain that she had brought her lunch.

Her coworkers had already figured out who the stalker in the parking lot was, they had overheard her on the phone with him and had seen her being dropped off before. They were respectful of her privacy and did not want to embarrass her; they wanted to reassure her that she had friends who cared. Soon they were able to convince her to join them for lunch, no excuses allowed, they would drive her, they would pay her lunch, and they would just be happy with her company even if all she did was sit there and have a drink.

Disclaimer**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes being held somewhere in some secret location.**

The Ex Files ~ Part 4

**Domestic Violence is not just physical abuse, it includes, verbal, emotional and also includes psychological as well as other forms of abuse. Domestic Violence should not happen to anyone…EVER. **

She set out to find a babysitter and a job, she had no prior experience but was smart and willing and able to do anything, start from the bottom and work her way up. She picked up a paper and drove up and down the streets to familiarize herself with the area; she kept her eye out for any “Help Wanted” signs.

Once home she took her paper to her bedroom and looked thru the paper and began calling the numbers for those offering childcare services. She set up meetings and asked for directions and felt confident that the next day would yield her favorable luck.

She discussed with her husband her intention of setting out for a job, he was not pleased to hear this, but was also quick to let her know it would be a relief as he wouldn’t have to listen to her ask for money anymore.

One of the driving forces for her to secure a job had been the degradation she felt having to continually ask for money to buy household items, groceries and even for her own personal items. He had always been in control of the finances and had no intentions of sharing that with her. He kept her on a strict budget and would blow up anytime she would ask him to pick up milk, diapers or anything that might be needed during the week. He was quick to let her know how stupid she was that she couldn’t even buy enough to last for a week. She tried explaining to him that with his sister and her family now living there and using everything they had bought, things were just not lasting as long.

He refused to acknowledge her explanations, it was her fault and that was that. It was pointless to argue with him so she did the best she could, she had resorted to makeshift diapers using whatever she could find, and she diluted the milk and even had to let their son wear dirty clothes.

Her sister in law was a forceful person; she had moved in and taken over as head of household. She had monopolized the kitchen, dining room, living room and one bedroom, leaving her only the one bedroom in the back of the trailer. The frustration of having to pacify her son with water and finding that the treats she had bought for him would disappear made for additional tension. She tried to discuss this with her husband but he wouldn’t listen to her, instead he resorted to accusing her of being greedy, again there was no winning, again it was all her fault, for after all she was too stupid to buy enough for everyone.

She stepped out to make her appointments with the possible childcare providers and the first stop was not a positive encounter, too many kids and no sense of control. She thanked the lady and went on to her next appointment, what a difference; the provider had 2 children under her watch including one of her own. They discussed payment and agreed that the next day would be the first day; she was pleased that things were looking up.

As she drove around before heading home she noticed a small strip mall and decided to stop in and browse around before heading back home. She had her son with her and they were looking at the items on the shelf when a clerk came up to ask if they needed help. They began a conversation and soon she felt a rapport with the clerk, she asked the clerk if she knew of any job openings. As luck would have it they were looking for someone to work part time, they talked briefly and set up a time for her to return with a completed application.  

 

Disclaimer**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes being held somewhere in some secret location.**

 

The Ex Files ~ 3

It took a very short time for them to get settled into their new home, he began working the very next day after they arrived, so it would be up to her to get everything in order in their new home. They had lucked out in the arrangements for what would be home; it was a small trailer house out in the middle of a wooded area off the highway. It was secluded and completely furnished, all she would need was to go and get groceries, linens, toiletries and get home in time to make dinner for her family.

Dinner consisted of a simple meal that would be easy to prepare, she had not yet mastered the art of cooking and cans and boxes were her friends. She wore her best smile and had even found the time to get their son and herself cleaned and dressed in fresh clothing. He walked in the door and she greeted him with the biggest smile she could give him without actually breaking her jaw in the process. He took a look around and began to criticize her for not having disposed of the boxes they had used for packing their belongings. She tried diffusing that by walking him into the dining area and showing off the table she had set, dinner was hot and ready on the stove; his cold drink was also ready. He walked over to the stove and took a look at what she had prepared and began to complain about having to eat shit that came out of a box.

For the next hour as they sat to eat the only words being exchanged were the names he called her, stupid, lazy, useless, bitch, dumb and many other hurtful words. There was no praise for anything she had done to make the place warm and cozy.

Two weeks into their arrival a knock came at the door, she got up to answer it and was soon to find herself face to face with her sister in law and her family in tow, she stepped aside and ushered them in. Her husband then got up and walked outside with his brother in law and they began to bring boxes in, her sister in law had already made her way to the first bedroom and began to clear out her sons’ belongings and putting them out in the hall.

She was confused and tried to get her husband’s attention to ask him what was going on but he ignored her and kept carrying boxes in. Forty five minutes later her husband came in and began to yell at her as she hadn’t done anything with the items in the hall. He began calling her stupid as she had not yet figured out what was happening. In hindsight she did know, she just didn’t want to accept that she had lost her home.

She gathered toys, and the clothes that had carelessly been tossed on the floor and took them into the other bedroom, she closed the door behind her and began to cry as she folded her sons’ clothes and put them in the drawer next to her things. The toys would not have a place so were left on the floor together with the infant carrier, diaper bag and other items.

Her quiet world changed in that instant, she could hear her sister in law in the kitchen throwing out food and replacing it with her things, they laughed at her and she could hear the criticism over her cooking. She decided to stay in the bedroom with her son, she could hear everything they said and the jokes at her expense, this was a small trailer and they were but a few feet away.

That night she decided she would talk to her husband about her finding a job….

 

Disclaimer**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes being held somewhere in some secret location.**

 

The Ex Files ~ Part II

road trip thru hell

Routines were being established in their marriage, but soon that would change, unexpectedly her husband announced a move, not to a nearby town, but to a different state entirely. It was what she had always wanted, to be far away from those that caused her so much pain at home. Her mother was the one that had caused her many times to sit in her room and visit the thoughts of suicide, sometimes these thoughts would get very sweet when they turned into thoughts of killing her mother. Why should she end her own life when she hadn’t asked for anything that had happened to her, why not make her abuser pay for all the wrongs with her own life. Yes, those thoughts always brought a smile to her face, she could taste the sweetness and it made her smile just to sit there and envision the many ways she would one day make her pay.

Moving day came in a blur; there wasn’t much to pack or enough room to bring more things with them. They packed their clothing and a few dishes, they weren’t traveling alone, and another family was traveling with them. Her sister-in-law and her husband and their two kids, along with the young couple and their three month old son soon got settled into the two door car. They would be driving for 24 hours with a minimum of stops for fuel and to change drivers. The hours seemed unending and tense, the constant whining of the kids and the crying baby were getting on her nerves. All she could look forward to was arriving at their destination and dropping the other family off and getting along on their way.

After looking at her watch and counting the hours that had already been spent on the road, she began looking at the signs, checking for the number of miles to their final destination. She dared not ask as the amount of tension in the small vehicle had grown exponentially and everyone was on edge.

Finally she saw what she had been hoping she wouldn’t miss- the sign, 78 miles to go. She decided she would try to get a bit of sleep for these last few miles. That was too much to ask for, the baby was tired of being strapped in and wet and hungry and wanting to be held, and all at once everyone began to chastise her for not keeping her son quiet.

The baby sensing the tension let out an ear splitting loud howling noise, nothing would pacify him now, she had to make him stop but everyone was screaming at her to shut him up, tears began to form in her eyes. Silently she begged them all to stop so that the baby would quiet down, had she spoken up nobody would have heard her, the other two kids had also joined in with the crying.

Finally they arrived, the doors to the car opened, the trunk was opened too, out came boxes and small makeshift suitcases. It was a relief to say goodbye to them and all she wanted to do now was get back in the car and go to their final destination where they could go and live alone and away from his family.

 Disclaimer:**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes being held somewhere in some secret location.**

 

The Ex Files ~ Part I

Get in line for yours~

 

 

Her first inkling that she had royally fucked up went by seemingly unnoticed or she laughed it off thinking “he’s just being cute”, he had asked her to get his water going in the shower, she got up and went to the bathroom and turned the water on, she only turned one knob, hot water. She didn’t expect that he would just step in without checking the temperature, but he did. He screamed as the water hit him and burned him, he called her back and admonished her, again she laughed it off and returned back to the TV room. A few minutes passed and again he called for her, she once again got up and headed to the bathroom, he stood there dripping water on the floor asking for a towel. She laughed at him and went along with his idea of a joke, she opened the cabinet door that was at arm’s length of where he stood and handed him a towel. He handed it back to her and asked her to dry him off, she didn’t mind at all, they were newly weds and the promise of ending up in bed making love held its own appeal.

They did end up in the bedroom and soon were tangled up in the sheets after a session of lovemaking. When they were done he got up and asked her for his clothes, she pointed to the closet and told him to go and get ready as she got up and threw her own clothes back on. He stood there with an expectant look on his face, finally he turned around and began to look for underwear, socks, a shirt and some jeans. He then jokingly admonished her about having a long way to go with being a perfect wife.

Later that evening he reminded her he would be going to work early in the morning and would need his lunch packed and his work clothes ready. She went about her own and decided she’d watch a bit of TV before calling it a night, she also had to get up early and get herself ready for school.

By the second week the arguing had begun, a constant barrage ensued, his needs were not being met. He had been raised by a very traditional and doting mother that had always made sure his clothes were ready, his water at just the right temperature, his breakfast served to him before he left for work, his lunch packed and upon his return from work she would help him out of his work boots and hand him an ice-cold drink, turn the TV on for him and serve him his dinner. He now expected his wife to do the same.

When she refused to comply with his demands he would belittle her, call her stupid and remind her that he had married her it was now her duty to serve him and make sure all his needs were met.

It was easier to comply with his demands than argue, it was better to just do it rather than hear the insults. She told herself that she would be the best wife, she ran herself ragged making sure his clothes were washed, ironed and ready for him. She would polish his boots, leave his socks next to his boots, his jeans neatly folded, his underwear on top of his jeans and a shirt on a hanger within reach. She tested the water to make sure it was not too hot nor too cold and while he showered she would prepare his dinner, when he was done she would clear his dirty dishes, wash them and begin preparing the next days lunch. When she was done and he was comfortably set up she would then get her homework done, get her clothes ready, get her shower out-of-the-way and then ensure that all the windows and doors were closed before she was able to join him.

None of her attempts were ever good enough, she would be called back because the socks that had been laid out were not the right ones, he would try on a shirt and decide against it and then demand that another one be ironed and that shirt would end up in a rumpled heap on the floor.

She found herself unable to concentrate at school, she’d find herself nodding off between classes. The days were not long enough to meet his needs and hers were slowly becoming less, she began to spend less time on herself. She now just pulled her hair back and quickly applied her makeup.

Is this what marriage was going to be like? It wasn’t how she had been raised, granted that things were not perfect in her own home she had never been a witness to any other couple that lived this way. She had seen it in the Mexican soaps she watched on TV, the perfectly doting wife, but even those fictional wifes on TV had help, there were the nannies and the maids. She had nobody to help her and she wondered how she would cope once their baby was born. She had no idea of what was to come, of how much attention a newborn would require. She would soon learn.

Disclaimer**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes being held somewhere in some secret location.**

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