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Archive for the ‘Every~day~ness’ Category

My sojourn of silence is coming to an end, I think I’m making it a short week of quiet, it really hasn’t been as quiet as I’d have hoped…I did have complete control of the tone and volume of social media. I have been spending more time with my little one and that time is priceless to me…I have been communing with nature…in the form of yard work….I have been reading more and writing more (on other forums) I have written a couple of pieces that I may release for publication….though that hasn’t been written in stone yet….I may end up reading it and hitting delete as I am prone to do….tomorrow morning is follow up lab work…I will have to fast overnight…..that sucks, I don’t know if I will pull it off or not, if I do I will stop and have breakfast before getting home…..anywho…time to get ready for the princess.

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It took a head scratching while for the perspicacity I once was well-known for to figure out what happened to my shows on HULU…apparently it is a contract situation, in hindsight I should have taken heed when I saw the “expiring” yellow lines….I was left with several episodes yet to air for one show and another just started this Tuesday on the network that I saw part of the pilot episode that looked intriguing …oh well…I suppose if I get the urge to see what I am visually missing I could hunt down the episodes on other platforms….but that is unlikely….very likely I will go for the written word on a blog that recaps the more popular telenovelas in a witty, biting, often times sarcastic and hilarious way…

Depressive ruminations are the bane of my existence…if I stay focused on mindless crap, like cheesy telenovelas…then I can remove or bypass the issues at hand that wear me out….and no I am not clinically depressed…just the thought that I have not resolved anything bites.

I am still digging my vow of silence, not that it has been 100% quiet….because it hasn’t….it has been somewhat productive, thought I must say my yard does look like a disgruntled dude named Jose from Jesus’ lawn service has massacred my lawn.

 

Time to get moving before I doze off….ain’t got time for that nonsense right now…

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shhh

Therapy for me involves pain, self-inflicted mind you…I took to the back yard and took advantage of the cool morning and wet ground to work on getting some of those stickers and weeds out. I tend to become enthralled with the task at hand, stupidly I was in flip-flops, a couple of times I almost amputated a foot…at the very least a few toes…but I persevered. I stopped a few times, I had some help in the form of a three-year old ready to wield her garden tools…or mine….more than likely the ground will be dry and hard tomorrow so it’s good that I did as much as I did…

Therapy part 2….the sun…my vitamin D levels were quite low at my last check up…I was prescribed a once a week high dose of the D in a green gel cap that is an ordeal to down…I don’t intend to refill the prescription…I will spend more time outside getting it from the source along with cancer of the epidermis.

The Therapy part 3….the quiet…the best part of my self-imposed therapy. I am by nature an introvert…I fake the extrovert almost to perfection…but indulging in quiet time is a feel good must…

Therapy part 4…getting in the zone…the zen zone…I have had a couple of anxiety attacks as of late…annoying more than anything….I have so much going on and I am not one to share…a retraction to this statement….I do share a big portion of me with a few chosen trusted individuals, but the things I have to fix on my own…well that I keep to myself…I don’t see the point in unloading on anyone…in the end when I do find resolution it makes everything feel silly and trivial….

Therapy part 5…getting back to writing….writing has always been therapeutic for me…it’s a way to lay bare some of my burdens without creating a burden for any poor well-meaning friend that might want to offer an ear…I am good at bending ears from time to time…but for now I have an overwhelming need to just shut the fuck up.

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Not positive feels, just feels…feels just about as I anticipate it’s gonna go. I feel it creeping, the morbosity rears its head….it’s not where I can reel it in…I suppose I could but I won’t….there’s the free will, free willy feel to it. Feelings, nothing more than feelings….bewilderment, nah…seen it before, lived it before….’twas the reason I halted the concept of the feels years ago…irritated, yup, ran the gamut with that one with a nonsensical yo-yo-ing. Will I feel despondent, devastated, distraught? Will I want to know the why? Nope, already 17 steps ahead…or 19….somewhere in there….I feel it in the air, I could slice it, dice it then spice it up and I won’t….

See the thing about putting the feels out there is that as a consequence those feels will feel pretty bombastic….

giphy

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Things in my life sometimes seems to follow a path of predictability…….the calm before the storm, the ebb and flow of friendships, relationships, the everydayness….me…from head to toe, on Monday thru Friday when I make my way to work…I might groom my eyebrows and add some moisturizer…and call that good, oh, maybe a small clip to hold my hair up, or an elastic to put it in a ponytail…or a pencil to keep it off my face…very predictable…when I am at home…it’s pj’s , sweats…whatever is comfortable…no makeup, and hair piled on my head…now when it comes to going out…I do fix my hair…I like variety in my look, straight, curl…either natural or manufactured…I’m not the only predictable one…I see so many friends sporting the same hairstyle from 5, 10 or more years…same with makeup….same tired daytime smoky eye, winged eyeliner, same 5 year old hairstyle…I guess if it works…you work it…more often than not it works you and not in a good way…..

and in other areas….relationships…sigh…such a sucktastic friend or unfriend that I am….I get bored with myself and then I start overthinking every minute nuance and then I let it go…not so good there….

I seem to have lost my train of thought…so I leave this with an incomplete thought…the princess beckons…

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surviving-the-week

So I drive up to work, park, all the while keeping an eye on the car up the street, that is just sitting there, engine running, lights on, in the middle of the street. I gather my gear, punch my code in, go in, see the car on camera slowly drive by my car, up the street…it makes a U-turn and pulls up behind me….try to pull up the camera that might help us see who is the vehicle, no luck, mouse is frozen…walk up to the door, take a look….still can’t see who is in the car…tinted windows….head back to the office…sit there looking at the monitor…nobody gets out, car is still running…we are held hostage….this is shift change….my coworker cannot safely leave and I cannot go on transport…time to call the popo….great response time…within 2 minutes we have popo’s surrounding the building, and the car…they approach the car, then come to the door….and let me know it’s someone that wants to come in…I get a name….and the bells go off….we’ve had some drama before with this one…..sigh…anywho…it took 45 minutes to get the situation under control, more popo’s, and a hapless cab driver….then time to go pick up the person waiting on me….so now I am out an hour and a half of time I could’ve been using to catch up on work….

Next…a visitor to my office…just wants to talk…and talk….and talk…about nothing cohesive…

Next….an accident….sigh….call ambulance…

Next…a trip to the ER….and then I’m back…

Next….the visitor again….NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next….another transport….

Next….open the gate…and then the other gate is open and a glitch has it tripping….

Next…dispensing meds x’s 10…

Next….the visitor….and I’m been told what a great listener I’ve been…I wasn’t…

Next…got locked out…..

Next….wah….it just kept going and going….I need another day off….

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Hello world. I’d like to introduce you to my brother and his art.

art

Here (↑↑) is  a picture of him putting the finishing touches to one of his works. His pieces evoke a juxtaposition between differing themes…stand back and let the art speak to you.

While he is new to trying to get his artwork out to a bigger audience he has been honing his skills over the years.

You can explore more through his Facebook artist page here: Daniel Santos Cantu Gallery

Here are a couple of other samplings of his work.

nop

mano

car

 

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