When you hurt…you know..

Or at least I do, I know I am alive, I know I am stupid, I know I have limitations, I know I exceeded the limitations, I know I can still do stupid stuff and more importantly I just know I Cantu (can too).

I decided to do some yard work, which I wholeheartedly enjoy…unfortunately my back is not so fond of my lack of better judgement…I’ll start feeling the tightness, the messages sent to my brain, but something in me refuses to quit…I keep pushing and pushing…and here we are days later and still hurting (a lot) but also I am waiting for the pain to ease up so I can get back to it…yes, I could easily engage in getting help…but that would be depriving myself of such a simple joy…minus the fucking calluses. Those I don’t like, but I have manly rough hands, nothing sissy about my hands…nothing sissy about me at all…

And on to other things…my brain has been foggier, more so than what has become the norm….could be the drugs, could be the lack of activity (mental) I have been having a hard time getting into finishing a book I just started…granted when I am in pain I just cannot concentrate…so I pick the book up and keep reading the same 2-3 pages and putting it back down…I know, this too shall pass…like a kidney stone or stuck compacted turd.

And another thing I really do think I should get back to writing, like seriously my brain needs the self stimulation that only I can provide for it.

And that’s all I have for now.


4 thoughts on “When you hurt…you know..

Add yours

  1. You just described what I did Monday perfectly. Like you, I know my limitations, but I love working in the yard, and so I push way beyond those limitations and I’m still paying for it. Glad to see you writing again, I’m not keeping up with my own writing either, and like you, lots of fog, confusion, inability to focus. Hang in there and care for yourself. 😉

  2. Don’t like that you hurt your back!…but I understand. I don’t have rods in my back, but my own little set of aches and pains. Ergh. ❤

    1. It’s ongoing and I should know better, actually I do know better, but it needs to get done, I enjoy the time doing…just need to listen to myself. Sorry about your own aches and pains…that’s the sucky part of growing up and growing old.

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