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Archive for April, 2017

My sojourn of silence is coming to an end, I think I’m making it a short week of quiet, it really hasn’t been as quiet as I’d have hoped…I did have complete control of the tone and volume of social media. I have been spending more time with my little one and that time is priceless to me…I have been communing with nature…in the form of yard work….I have been reading more and writing more (on other forums) I have written a couple of pieces that I may release for publication….though that hasn’t been written in stone yet….I may end up reading it and hitting delete as I am prone to do….tomorrow morning is follow up lab work…I will have to fast overnight…..that sucks, I don’t know if I will pull it off or not, if I do I will stop and have breakfast before getting home…..anywho…time to get ready for the princess.

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It took a head scratching while for the perspicacity I once was well-known for to figure out what happened to my shows on HULU…apparently it is a contract situation, in hindsight I should have taken heed when I saw the “expiring” yellow lines….I was left with several episodes yet to air for one show and another just started this Tuesday on the network that I saw part of the pilot episode that looked intriguing …oh well…I suppose if I get the urge to see what I am visually missing I could hunt down the episodes on other platforms….but that is unlikely….very likely I will go for the written word on a blog that recaps the more popular telenovelas in a witty, biting, often times sarcastic and hilarious way…

Depressive ruminations are the bane of my existence…if I stay focused on mindless crap, like cheesy telenovelas…then I can remove or bypass the issues at hand that wear me out….and no I am not clinically depressed…just the thought that I have not resolved anything bites.

I am still digging my vow of silence, not that it has been 100% quiet….because it hasn’t….it has been somewhat productive, thought I must say my yard does look like a disgruntled dude named Jose from Jesus’ lawn service has massacred my lawn.

 

Time to get moving before I doze off….ain’t got time for that nonsense right now…

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So it occurs to me that perhaps I would be best served by helping myself….so I must rethink the idea of taking in a tenant…in the main house….in order for that to occur I must make changes to make my bedroom a sanctuary, a TV room and a dining room. I cringe at the thought of such a drastic change, I have entertained the idea of perhaps taking on a second job….but I don’t think my body would be open to that happening…

I don’t know how I feel about a female roommate…so that leaves a male roommate….but it must be someone I am going to be platonically compatible with….this person cannot in any way shape or form hold any attraction to females, more specifically to me. I am not interested in “that” type of a roommate….just looking to lessen the financial burden of this too-big-for-me house.

roomy

So yeah…must do research on how best to word an ad, how best to conduct an interview to determine compatibility…or maybe play the lottery…

It appears that I am going in for more therapy and tackling the backyard again….

TTFN

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shhh

Therapy for me involves pain, self-inflicted mind you…I took to the back yard and took advantage of the cool morning and wet ground to work on getting some of those stickers and weeds out. I tend to become enthralled with the task at hand, stupidly I was in flip-flops, a couple of times I almost amputated a foot…at the very least a few toes…but I persevered. I stopped a few times, I had some help in the form of a three-year old ready to wield her garden tools…or mine….more than likely the ground will be dry and hard tomorrow so it’s good that I did as much as I did…

Therapy part 2….the sun…my vitamin D levels were quite low at my last check up…I was prescribed a once a week high dose of the D in a green gel cap that is an ordeal to down…I don’t intend to refill the prescription…I will spend more time outside getting it from the source along with cancer of the epidermis.

The Therapy part 3….the quiet…the best part of my self-imposed therapy. I am by nature an introvert…I fake the extrovert almost to perfection…but indulging in quiet time is a feel good must…

Therapy part 4…getting in the zone…the zen zone…I have had a couple of anxiety attacks as of late…annoying more than anything….I have so much going on and I am not one to share…a retraction to this statement….I do share a big portion of me with a few chosen trusted individuals, but the things I have to fix on my own…well that I keep to myself…I don’t see the point in unloading on anyone…in the end when I do find resolution it makes everything feel silly and trivial….

Therapy part 5…getting back to writing….writing has always been therapeutic for me…it’s a way to lay bare some of my burdens without creating a burden for any poor well-meaning friend that might want to offer an ear…I am good at bending ears from time to time…but for now I have an overwhelming need to just shut the fuck up.

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Crucially important for me to take this time to be pensive with the floaters in my head…so much going on, not interested in a sit down with anyone, I do my best at resolutions when I play my own devil’s  advocate. I’ll be doing a lot of reading to shut the voices down when I get tired of hearing myself..

Here’s me talking to myself…I may be doing some of that as well….no telling…I just don’t feel like people-ing for a while…of course those eight hours on the clock are not included…nor is the time with my precious baby…

so tata for now

shh

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