This has been one hellacious summer as far as heat is concerned. Pretty bad when it is 92° inside my house. My last electric bill was more than double the previous one and that is due to giving in and turning the AC on. I simply cannot afford to run it. I’ve set aside some funds to give my kids a “vacation” so that takes from my other funds like the utilities and groceries. Looks like the boys may be away for about a month, they will be spending time with my oldest son and younger brother’s family. I will be home alone. Sounds good but at the same time it will be different for me, it’ll be too quiet here. But they need to get away and enjoy their summer break and not be so isolated with me. I’m sure they will enjoy it they are already excited even though we don’t have everything confirmed and okayed.
Earlier the boys were both in my room with me cracking me up, again they are telling me I should go and get married…not sure where that comes from. They know I totally suck at it and I know they wish they had a “dad” or “normal” family. It’s like a kick in the gut…they can crack jokes about it but I see and hear what they aren’t saying.
I’m doped up and a new or perhaps not so new side effect…itching…I am itching like crazy….feeling woozy and incoherent. I was on the phone with my oldest and he (and I) had a hard time following what I was saying. My train of thought was completely derailed it was like trying to talk to him about at least 3 different things at once but not making sense with any of it. With this (writing) I have the luxury of rereading and rewriting what doesn’t make sense. I don’t even know if I am making sense….
The boys need to get their laundry done and we will need to get the water bottles refilled. I won’t be able to do it myself when they are gone. I suppose I could always ask my creepy next door neighbor or my tenant to help me….Scratch that…I can switch to gallon sized containers instead of the 5 gallon bottles…I can’t see me asking anyone to help me. Just today I thought of calling a former “friend” if she might have any idea as to who might be hiring…couldn’t bring myself to do it. Damn pride….doesn’t get me too far. 🙂