Unsettled & unhinged ~

That’s how I spent my night…nothing to do but toss and turn and deal with a flood of emotions I wish would not intrude. I found myself reading instead of trying to sleep and as I turned the pages reading the words that gave the character her history I found that the words were touching me and felt that my life was in those pages.

It is unsettling that a seemingly simple question can open up so many wounds…a part of my heart that should have died off and healed is once again exposed, wounds are raw and fresh and bleeding.

I feel unhinged and know that any progress I had made is going to lead me down a new path of destruction…I can picture myself going through the motions, I want to tap into the excess of substances that will allow me to go away and retreat into a world of mind numbing forgetfulness.

I am off~

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