Thought of U & smiled 2day…not because I want U (even though I do) but because I’ve had U~

I slept in today…not much but enough to make up for the hours I was up reading last night. I had my coffee, watched a bit of TV…moved on to make some banana pecan pancakes and then back to vegetating in front of the TV. I now think it is shower time…just cause I feel sticky and icky…that is mostly because I am back to watching what I spend and I need to keep my utilities down. I ended up spending more that I anticipated last month and I’ve got bills to pay off….my doctor keeps sending me bills…so I guess I need to make a good faith effort to pay him something very soon before it goes off to a collection agency. Don’t need that hassle.

I ended up with two 5 foot tall cabinets off of freecycle, one ended up in my bonus/library to be room and the other one by the entrance to the laundry room. I will be using one for blankets and sheets and the other for odds and ends.

I hate feeling discombobulated…normalcy is right around the corner just a tad out of reach…TTFN

The Perfect Murder

Another Last Stand Book. These do not have to be read in order, can stand alone. Fast read about newest member of the Last Stand group. She is on her first case, trying to find to kidnapped girls. Love, murder and a very disturbed man make this book worth reading.

For more than a year, Sebastian Costas has been trying to unravel the truth behind the murder of his ex-wife and son. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, he’s convinced that her second husband—a cop—committed both murders, then faked his own death. Now Sebastian has followed the slimmest of leads to Sacramento…and that’s where he finally gets the break he needs. Jane Burke, an investigator with The Last Stand, calls him in connection with a separate crime—a crime that could lead him straight to the man he’s been looking for.

Once married to a serial killer, Jane has spent the past five years rebuilding her life. And with Sebastian she finally has a chance at happiness. But the man they’re after is after them, too. For him this has become a personal battle, one he’s determined to win. Whatever it takes…

 

The Perfect Liar

Obsession leads to lies…

When air force captain Luke Trussell opens his door one Sunday morning, he’s shocked to find the police—and even more shocked when they charge him with rape. He knows he made a mistake in judgment the night before, but he certainly didn’t force his attentions on the woman who’s been stalking him for months.

Problem is…Kalyna Harter has the bruises—and the DNA evidence—to make her claim convincing.

And lies can lead to murder.

Determined to isolate Luke, Kalyna goes to victims’ rights advocate Ava Bixby of The Last Stand, hoping Ava will help put Luke behind bars. But Ava soon realizes she’s defending the wrong victim.

Problem is…switching her support to Luke could be dangerous—especially when she falls for him. Because Kalyna won’t tolerate losing the man she wants to anyone. Least of all Ava…

The story is chilling because it’s pretty easy to see how a manipulator like the villain could convince the police and DA’s office that she’d actually been raped. And nearly ruin her victim’s life in the process…and having worked with individuals who come in with false stories, trying to weed out the lies that they’ve convinced themselves with…fast paced, good summer read.

 

 

 

 

There will always be a LIE in believe an OVER in lover an END in Friends an US in trust an IF in life

There will always be a LIE in believe an OVER in lover an END in Friends an US in trust an IF in life…

Isn’t that just so true? And then how it all flows together….

Tomorrow I will be calling Spine Austin and setting up my appointment for my 6 month check up on my fourth surgery….today also marks the one year anniversary of my 3rd surgery….it’s also the anniversary of an other unmentionable now very questionable act….I should have already scheduled this visit…but I’ve been putting it off, I’m scared of what the x rays may uncover….I have a nagging feeling that things aren’t as healed as they should be…or worse that I may need another procedure…I don’t think I would be mentally prepared for that kind of news….there is no way to prepare for that and I’m afraid that I would be sent over the edge…yes I have been teetering on the edge…the edge of reason, the edge of sanity, the edge of madness….I just need a little push and I’d be over….

I’ve been on a reading spree, pretty much laying off the TV, not spending much time online either….so that has me all disconnected…..my goal is to get back to “normal” next week….whatever that really means anymore…oh and of all the books I’ve read in the past few days…Brenda Novak’s The Perfect Couple was the one that kept me on the edge….and also struck a chord…the description of how the husband sucked the wife into a life of depravity by being a controlling asshole was spot on….I can relate to the wife, how she got to where she was…not that I think I could have ever gone to the dark places she went to in the name of love….but the disease to please, the doing anything/everything to keep her husband happy and in love with her, pretty sad…too many times I had well-meaning people tell me to go along with something that was so against my nature to keep a man with me….so not worth it…for me it just isn’t a way to live…if a person cannot accept another persons differences then it is time to move on…using manipulation, coercion, threats or violence isn’t a healthy path to a long-lasting loving healthy relationship…and as my grandma used to say…”It is better to be alone than in bad company”

so anyway….not sure where this rambling nonsense was supposed to go…so just file under randomness….

The Perfect Couple~

Murder, kidnapping, domination, twisted relationships, perversions, torture, well paced and suspenseful…

One afternoon in May, Zoe Duncan’s thirteen-year-old daughter goes missing from her own backyard. The police think Samantha ran away because she’s unhappy about her mother’s upcoming marriage—but Zoe doesn’t believe it. In fact, she’s willing to do anything to bring Sam home, even if it means losing her job, her beautiful home, her fiancé. Even if it means divulging all her secrets to a private investigator.

Jonathan Stivers is a P.I. who donates his time to The Last Stand, a victims’ charity in Sacramento. He’s good at what he does, the best. But never has he had fewer leads to work with—or been more attracted to a client. Jonathan’s sure of only one thing: Sam was taken by someone close to the family. He doesn’t know how close until he realizes that the “perfect” couple next door is anything but….

Going nucking futs~

This lack of sleep business is just for the dogs…I am so mentally dead, I keep  thinking eventually I’ll read myself to sleep…but it hasn’t happened…instead I find myself breezing through hundreds of pages, book after book, when I get tired of reading a book, I put it down and move on to a magazine, or will give my fingers and hands a break from holding a book and paging thru it. I get online and breeze thru the same familiar places….

Yesterday was not a good day, I popped pain pills every 2-3 hours, not smart…I know, but the pain was too caustic…I’m still hurting but today I can’t seem to swallow any pills, I tried, my throat shuts down and I can’t get it down….

Yes today is a day to contemplate a shortened shelf life. There is no way I want to be around for another 20 years in this condition, heck even the though of a few tomorrows like this makes me go into my dark place.

Whahhhhh

whine over…off to bed….again…wish me luck with that shit called sleep….

Smoke Screen & no sleep~

Finished reading Sandra Brown’s Smoke Screen last night, of course that means a sleepless night. Some annoying tidbits throughout…requiring a good amount of suspended disbelief….too many characters, too much repetition…but a good summer read.

Now I am off to try to sleep, that means I take a book with me to try to read myself to sleep. Good luck to me ;(

Ahh..Monday, so we meet again. You dirty bitch. ~

Started another Sandra Brown book, I’m about half way thru it, may or may not get it all read tonight…had to take a break from it as my eyes were dry and my vision blurry. Have a doctor appointment coming up, still need to schedule my appointment in hell aka Austin…so not looking forward to that drive. May try to schedule it for a Friday and maybe get a chance to see an old friend while there.

My belly has been all tore up, so I thought I’d fix it with some ice cream…I don’t think that was the solution to the problem….now my belly is more tore up. Damn it! 😦

Talked to my favorite child, boy # 1, school is going well….miss him, he can make me laugh, all 3 of my boys can make me laugh, sometimes I just laugh at them, and that’s all good. Laughter is good medicine.

I am beginning to get more comfortable with laughter, it’s like I have given myself permission to enjoy life…not 100% where I once was, I’ll never be at that level, but I’ll take what I can get.

Well I guess this is it for now, I’m off to immerse myself in a world of make believe.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: