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She had a caring, generous boyfriend that stopped by her job “only a few times a day” and showed up at her door the minute she got home from work. Under the pretext of “love,” he tried to inhabit every molecule of air around her. There was no such thing as personal space with him. He’d show up unexpectedly (with flowers), call first thing in the morning “to see how she was” and last thing at night (bed check!). Stopping by her work “only a few times a day” was a few times too many, because he knew it could cost her her job and spring the trap for this to make her totally dependent upon him.
This guy’s need to control her was beyond obsessive and helped her to realize he wasn’t ever going to change, she needed to get away; she knew it wouldn’t be easy. His darker side emerged as she came to realize that by monopolizing her time and removing her ability to make decisions, he was cutting her off from everything. She no longer went out with friends and family — only him. She couldn’t make a move without him tagging along. She began to feel smothered, she soon had the sense that she was becoming “indebted” to him and she knew he would soon call in that marker. He started tracking wherever she went, dropped by her family if she was visiting them, and even recorded the mileage on her car. One night he became enraged because she hadn’t returned from a visit with a relative “on time” and bounced her off a wall.
Every one of her friends agreed that this “perfect” boyfriend was an abuser waiting to happen. He was already indebting her, showing insensitivity to her feelings, smothering and controlling her. She needed to drop him — and fast.
Disclaimer**Given the nature of the books I have been reading lately I am inspired to write a few short stories revisiting parts of my life that included episodes of domestic violence….I will be calling this series “The Ex Files” very clever right….lol….I thought so….it will be an amalgamation of my personal experiences steeped with those of others that I was very close to. The parallels are uncanny in some instances….but the patterns of abusers and abusees are almost always the same…it’s like the same behaviors are either taught to the next generation or there are some secret classes