For the past few days I have been beyond exhausted, I had been fighting sleep during the day but for the last couple of days I’ve given in. I’m not getting much sleep during the day either, but I have taken to bed and maybe napped a few minutes and just laid there resting up before I get up again. I hate it. My mind and my body are firm believers that sleep should be done at night….but even those beliefs are betrayed as I don’t do much sleep during night time hours either. Sleeplessness has been a life constant. But this exhaustion…I don’t know what to make of it…except to blame it on my current condition. Yesterday I could have blamed it on the weather….but today….I don’t know….all I know is that I’m tired.
I look out the window and it looks like it is warm outside, it would be a perfect day for running around….but all the running around I’m doing is mental…in my mind I am thinking of all the places I’d rather be. Different parts of Texas, San Antonio, Dallas, the Rio Grande Valley….California, even Hawaii…though it holds bittersweet memories I imagine taking a trip there and erasing the bad with good….the memories aren’t entirely bad, I make them bad…and I ramble….no, they are bittersweet.
I have also lost the ability to concentrate….for days/weeks I have not read anything news worthy. I am not following current events…I have no clue as to what is going on in the world around me. I don’t like this sense of cluelessness…heck I can’t even read a complete page…
I’m going back to bed.