So I am officially hanging out my shingle! I have scheduled my first wedding…I’m both excited and nervous…the whole standing up in front of a crowd will be a challenge…but I’m up for it…I’ve met with the happy couple and they have quite a story to tell…which I won’t be sharing…but nonetheless I am quite honored that they chose me to officiate. It will be a quiet little affair, they’ll have a few friends and family, sadly most of their family is not on board but they are defiantly fighting for their right to be together. I’ve even been invited to share in the festivities after the I do’s….I might have to hunt up a date….and I’m so not into dating….my gift to them will be no charge for officiating…being that this will be my first time and if I screw up…well…I won’t screw up…but it’ll help me with the jitters for the next time…


Paying it forward…

First off I am thankful for the family and friends who have reached out, your doing so means the world to me….and as much as I hate crying…as I see it as a sign of weakness…I’ve bawled like a baby…..but I am much closer to my goal of getting to see my son graduate.

Now to the paying it forward part….as I have been going through things to get rid of to raise money I came across a young family headed by a single mom that was in need of food and clothing, some of the things I had earmarked for fundraising I instead let this mom take her pick, as for food I didn’t have much but she was able to complete a few outfits that will serve her well at her new job and there were some items that her boys will be able to use as well. Her gratitude brought me to a new wave of tears….we chatted and laughed about some of the struggles we have gone through, she felt embarrassed to be going through the bags of clothing I had set aside…I was able to put her at ease and she will be back for a haircut…I’m nervous about that, I haven’t cut anyone else’s hair in quite a while….but she can’t afford a haircut and it won’t cost me anything to help her out….I wish there was more I could do for her but she is a strong woman and she will be fine. Funny how life works…https://rubycantu.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/yes-id-like-you-to-hit-that/.


…and by that I mean the DONATE button → (on the right) yes that yellow one….I am shamelessly appealing to YOU, by YOU I mean You who are reading this. My youngest son is currently in boot camp and will be graduating next month. This year has been a complete bitch financially….numerous repairs to my vehicle, central air unit, the major plumbing repairs,  the countless tires I’ve either had to repair or replace due to vandalism…it has all taken a huge hit on me…it hurts…anywho…I can’t imagine missing this major milestone, my son graduating from the Navy’s boot camp…my heart swells with pride…I’ve singlehandedly raised three amazing young men, I’d love to be able to take his brothers with me but their finances are worse than mine. So back to the appeal part of this here blog….anything you can help with will be greatly appreciated, if you can share this on your page I’ll be grateful for that as well. No amount is to great or too small….I will be donating plasma, selling stuff, and cutting back every where else I can possibly cut costs…I will get there! So if you find it in you to donate or simply share this it will be much appreciated…I hate asking for help, but this is me putting pride aside. Much love to you…and thanks for reading, sharing and caring. ♥


New week…

So this will be week number two with my new schedule, Mon-Thur with a 3 day weekend….yay me. For so many years now I’ve had crap schedules, I made the schedules work in part because I had no choice…unless quitting was an option….which it wasn’t cause I didn’t have anything else lined up. It is hard to find a job that will not tax me physically…this one taxes me on a different level. Two things I hate, phones and talking to people on a phone…oh the irony….lol. By the time I get out of there the last thing I want to do is look at a phone…there are exceptions…family and a few select friends…this weekend I didn’t want to leave for fear I would miss a call from my son…I didn’t miss a call….he wasn’t able to call….I hope this week I’ll get to hear from him….let him know my new schedule, see how he is doing….this is a new chapter for both of us….and I’m off…want to get in a bit early every day….any overtime I can get will help…I have future travel planned and every single extra penny needs to be saved.

***Donations gladly accepted….just hit that donate button on the right.

Much love! Have a great week.

This year has been brutal, plumbing problems and repairs, central air repairs, vehicle repairs, the bazillion and one flats (I’m at 30+) tire repairs and replacements….just can’t seem to catch a break…then someone is screwing around with my accounts….I wish I knew who I pissed off or who has decided to be a dickwad, asshole, bitch, fucktard….I just can’t fathom who would go out of their way to make me their target. And I say repairs because it has been like putting cheap ass Band-Aids that won’t stay put…I’ve debated doing a police report on my flats….yes it is vandalism and destruction of property, not to mention that someone is getting on to my property to fuck with my vehicle. For that matter this asshole could also be fucking with my AC unit as well as the plumbing, all that shit can be fucked with from outside….I’ve thought of taking matters into my own hands…but it’s also inconvenient….but the tremendous heat we have had has sucked balls this year…when it reaches 90+ degrees inside it is not fun….not when I add hot flashes to the mix….I’m at a loss…the next step is installation of cameras outside…like if I could afford this shit….***sigh…

Life sucks big sweaty hairy balls

New chapter….

So a new chapter of my life is in front of me….I left home before I completed high school, got married and had my first son…life has been rocky at best, but not dull. Marriage did not work out for me so I went on to do the single mother thing….then I gave it another shot and had two more kids….all in all I have been a mother for about 30 years….yes I count back to when I discovered I was with child as the beginning of my road to motherhood. For the most part I have always been a single parent, even when I was in a relationship I was going it alone….I did find it easier to go it alone….there wasn’t anyone to contradict me in parenting matters…anywho…I survived it! I can proudly attest to the fact that I have 3 amazing sons, each of them following their own path. And while I may not be proud of the choices and paths they have taken I can certainly say that I am proud that they have followed their heart. I certainly did that myself…and yes that has led me to some poor choices, but they were my own choices. Even as a youngster with family feeling they had to opine I was of the mindset that they could just shut the fuck up…they weren’t paying my bills or in any way stepping up to help in any way shape or form.

With a heavy heart I took my son to San Antonio to hand him over to the US Navy…but when I say heavy I don’t mean it in a woe is me…my heart was heavy with a whole ball of emotions, happiness, joy, pride, love and admiration. On the drive there we did a lot of talking….the days before he left we spent as much time together as possible…on one of our outings he sang me a song….aside from the explicit and totally inappropriate lyrics I could hear the raw talent in his voice as he hit some rather high notes….I didn’t know he had that in him, he had never sang in front of me. I swear if he hadn’t already committed to the Navy I’d have been recording his ass and blasting him all over social media until someone took notice.

This last one leaving the nest hits hard…I’ve been looking forward to the experience of living alone, there is trepidation, nervousness, and a slew of other emotions and considerations…I know I’ll be fine. I can’t wait to start living this new chapter…actually I already have, part of that process is deep cleaning my house…though at every turn I keep finding things my child did not pack….then I get nostalgic…and I find that I will have to get another box….it’s a process.

I’ll for sure be making a bigger attempt in writing more, reading more, reconnecting more with friends I’ve neglected….funny thing about life is that it doesn’t slow down….and I can’t speed myself anymore than I already move….I curse this piece of shit body that doesn’t always cooperate with me. I am still of the mindset that I can do everything for myself…I can’t…and I hate that. It is my struggle and I am fortunate enough to have friends that are willing to step up and help out….on that note I’m stopping here I’ve things I need to get to as my break is over….


New puter….

So I cashed in my points from my credit card….$250.00 worth of gift cards…then I found a desktop for $255.00….I’ve set it up, upgraded to Windows 10 and also installed my office products….so now I need to learn my way around this thing…feel old not knowing where anything is…that’ll keep me occupied for a while….also took the little one out for lunch…first time ever taking her out to a restaurant, she did good…aside from wanting to dip everything in my ranch dressing…then wear my ranch….then took her to the mall with her uncle where she got to ride the little carousel…bought her 3 onesies and 2 tank tops, spent another $5.00 there…then home, got laundry sorta done….stained an entertainment center and took trash out…off to bed in a few where I’ll chill with a book until I can get to sleep.


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