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Happy New Year. So much is going on around here…mainly work and more work…and pain…always. today was not a good day and unfortunately I took it out on the wrong person. I hate when that happens…hate that my #2 is being hurt…but thankful that he is comfortable talking to me. If anyone can give insight on relationships that would be me. Granted I suck at them…

Anywho we do have a beautiful bundle of joy to love and care for….the little girl I always wanted. She is a precious little girl…can’t wait for her hair to just grow out…looking forward to playing with different looks…ponytail, braids…straight or curly…too early to tell. We have not done the birth announcements yet…waiting for a photo session. I want her in a black dress with her little black shoes….

Did I mention pain…yeah about that….left lower quadrant and it fucking hurts like a bitch….so damned tired of hurting and medicating and putting on my “happy, happy joy joy” face on and pretending all is well…not so convincingly and there are days I just can’t be bothered to fake it. It gets old using the same tired responses…”I’m fine, all is well…my face just looks like life sucks” 

Today will be a busy day, have a funeral to go to and I am not looking forward to that….then from there I have to get #3 to an appointment…my day off….I just wish I could have a day off and do nothing, see no one and just have me time. 

So yeah 2014 lots going on but it just sounds tired and whiney….I’m off to try to read myself to sleep….just thought I’d try to blog a bit….maybe soon I’ll be back and be less bitchy.

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I’ve had a hate/hate relationship with phones for a few years now…recently j lifted my own ban on it and gave my number out. I like this someone I gave my number to…but already I hate the phone drama. Why do these a$$holes expect me to have a phone attached to my person 24/7? I have a life and I don’t believe I need to drop everything I’m doing and run to answer my phone when it rings….I also think that if I don’t answer after 5 -6 Times then you should get a clue, just maybe I am busy….I’m trying to not lose it and hate you….okay hate may be a bit harsh….but dammit ain’t nobody got time for that. . I certainly don’t and after all these years of not being in a relationship I sure as $hit am not looking to fall for another insecure, controlling jerkwad….so that is my vent and/ off to the back burner we go…..

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Shell Shocked….

to be continued….

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Random numbers, because names would just open up a can of worms….so I had this whole diatribe in my head and on paper…well no not paper, on WORD….it stemmed from a revelation in a conversation with # 89765432 which in turn had caused me to have an epiphany of ginormous proportions.

# 23453789 had once upon made some statements regarding the “sexes”…yes men and women….but from the conversation with # 89765432 I had come away realizing or piecing together some “character” flaws regarding # 23453789…then the bubble burst…or rather the dam did….and #23453789′s previous statement came back semi full circle….SIGH….

Friendships are hard, people are complicated, present company included. Sometimes being friendless is the best thing…so cheers to solitude and reflection…and HEB Creamy Creations Butter Pecan Ice Cream and books…about blood, guts, killing…and all that good stuff….oh and fucking too. But not fucking like you might think…more like mind fucking…I guess I shoulda just said mind fucking….so anywho my gang banged brain is off to do some relaxing reading….and put shit out of my head…..

FLUSH!

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Going downhill fast

I woke up feeling perfectly fine headed to my new (2nd) job…got there and got settled in for the day…well I didn’t get to settled…out of nowhere and without warning things got bad and fast. I was lucky my boss was there….I felt faint and shaky…yeah I forgot to eat breakfast so I thought a couple of cookies would help…I didn’t feel hungry but I ate them anyway. Soon, very soon we could tell that wasn’t going to cut it so he offered up a candy bar. But I needed to lay down or pass out, did that…but it didn’t help. So I came home and made it to the sofa but then I had to run to the bathroom where I puked up about 5 pounds worth of fluids…not good but I felt better so I went back to work. Big mistake….I managed to hang on for at least an hour then I gave up and came back home. I am now down 10 pounds and not feeling all that great. Hope I feel better soon…I cannot afford to stay home and this is no way to start off at a new job. I’m feeling too pukey to stand for long and I dread disappointing boy # 3 when he gets home shortly….he was wanting me to take him to the mall but driving is out of the question….wish I had a bitch right about now….

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Day before yesterday as I sat outside enjoying the pleasant weather I saw a butterfly, hadn’t seen one in a while, it never stopped long enough for me to take a pic….

Today my beautiful friend posted a picture of a butterfly as it reminded her of me….

Today I felt butterflies….mixed feelings on those….my heart went pitter patter…yep I heard it.

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Vanity be thy name, well no not at all.

There is a creature of sorts (my guess would be a fucking cutesy squirrel that ain’t gonna be so cute if we meet) chewing on something under my house. Not sure what the fuck it is. The damn squatter will hopefully be smart enough to leave on its own after we (by we I mean my boys) move some boards or die soon….then of course I may end up having to contend with the death stench. Life just doesn’t want to come easy….sheesh…if I didn’t marinate in bad luck I’d have none of it.

Went shopping today….stop number one yielded a skirt and a blouse, stop number two was more giving…I ended up with a skirt, jeans, bra, shoes, tights, trouser socks, and some other socks, some organic conditioner, 3 bags of Godiva chocolate, an HDMI cord and I paid nothing! (cause I used my gift cards and gift certificates I earned from my rewards cards.) I still have enough left over to shop for the boys….but I’m waiting for the prices to drop some more.

I did a load of laundry and I’ve yet to iron it….I did manage to put most of it away….that included stuff from the last time I did laundry.

Had a short convo (if it can even be called that, heck it wasn’t even long enough for me to bother spelling out the whole word) with the oven this morning….I am just left SHM….and wondering…oh well…on to other randomosity….

Got my nails done….by self…and tomorrow I will probably be undoing and redoing again. I am just no good at keeping my nail polish from smudging or chipping.

Also thinking of going shorter with the do….we shall see….I love the lightheadedness….

Back hurts, back is a bitch…which serves as a reminder that I am one too…..

Having lunch with my daughter from another mother tomorrow….can’t seem to decide on the where…last week we had lunch and I was so Italianed out…but funny thing is I’m craving Italian again….but I think I’ll cook Italian Saturday and leave it open for either Mexican or Chinese tomorrow….

It’s all I have for now….unless I can think of anything to add to this….

And piss on any busy bodies reading this….yes, PISS ON YOU!!!

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First and foremost is a heartfelt big thank you to our wonderful host, the beautiful and gracious Laurie Zieber.

Thank you♥

We (my Auntie (newest Magnolia) and I) left last Thursday to the little city of Grand Saline the name is taken from a large salt deposit in the area, currently mined by Morton Salt. I like my salt so knowing there is plenty of salt if I needed my fix was comforting.

There were to be 8 Magnolia’s to be meeting up for a 4 day weekend, no men, no children, no worries and no drama. Many of us were meeting face to face for the very first time, but the connections had been fostered prior to our actual face to face encounters. My big moment of sadness was our missing Magnolia, the beautiful, funny and very much loved MzTracy, and my BFF. She was with us in spirit but having her there would have been the icing on the cake. Life and its effed up circumstances prevented her from joining us, so we have to find a way and a date to get to her…and we will!

 

   

Thursday afternoon we trickled in, we arrived first and began unloading our ridiculously large amount of shtuff, gifts for our hostess and friends, a bazillion dresses, shoes and accessories for playing dress up.

The Magnolia Closet~

Our time together was a whirlwind; we stayed up late getting to know each other on deeper and more personal levels, sharing of ourselves in 2’s & 3’s over coffee in the morning and wine in the evening.

Missing two Magnolias♥

We trekked to Dallas and had fun at a thrift store looking the racks over for cool retro vintage clothes, trying on hats, oversized glasses and just clowning around. We made it to a neat little Tex-Mex restaurant and had some delicious food then next door for some amazing treats. And we fought the traffic at rush hour to get back home.

Darrell & Willie☻

We played a couple of fun games, one was “The Storymatic” and the other one I can’t remember the name of, but it was designed to prompt responses that would reveal tidbits of who we are and how we think and feel about certain things. I would have loved staying up later and playing either one but we were all tired and fighting sleep.

Saturday was our big day, an elegant dinner, a session with a photographer and lots of wardrobe changes.

Missing one Magnolia~

The big (but not the biggest) take away are the little inside jokes, “Darrell and Willie,” “Jane you (ignorant) slut”, “I love it, I love, I love it”, “Did I ever tell you you are my hero” and a few others.

Saved the best for last, my BFF♥♥

The biggest take away from this weekend were the bonds we created and strengthened, we have built a connection that time and distance will not hinder. For me it was a refreshing reminder of what true friendships mean, my tolerance for superficial friends is low and I value my time with friends, I want to be present and I want my friends to be present and that we did.

 

For my she-roes…y’all are the wind beneath my wings (yes I have wings and when those don’t work my broom works just as well)


Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

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FML

Seriously.

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Deliver mail to the X…√

Go to the volunteer gig for a couple of hours…√

Make bank deposit….√

Get car trip checked and install new battery, thankfully it was still under warranty….note to self, do not neglect vehicle for this long again….√

Still left to do is car wash and fuel up, then park the baby back under the carport…√…√…on my way to get it done…

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