I hate sick people. Which sounds mean, I know, but they’re just nasty. And when they get better, I like them again, so it’s not so bad, right…assuming I liked them in the first place….which isn’t terribly likely, frankly…which means that when the vast majority of people get sick, my impression of them doesn’t really change much….and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, so I’m back to sounding ‘normal’ again. It just took a while to get there, is all…in this case it’s Boy # 3, so the word hate doesn’t apply to him, but he should have known better and stayed away from me yesterday.
Now, a couple of things, before I go any further. First, I’m not talking about sick sick people. The terminally ill and tragically vegetative are okay in my book. I don’t bother them, and they… well, most of them aren’t really up to bothering me, so we’re cool. Those kinds of ‘sick’ people don’t count.
I also want to stress that I feel the same way about myself, when I’m sick, as I feel about others. When there’s a sick person out there in the world, sneezing on me or hacking up a lung beside me or using the back of my head as a hanky, I simply think….Man, this ass should lock himself in his house, down some antibiotics, and not bother society again until he can do it without snuffling all over the damned floor. When it’s your own kid, what do you do? I’ve yet to find the answer to that. I know it would be mean to banish him to the back room.
And let me assure you, that’s exactly what I want to do when I’m sick….and feeling like a craptastic sickling. So don’t think I’m being all high and mighty with my sick-sist attitude. I’m willing to turn the snark around on myself…..
I think I’m beginning to get sick and that sucks…. that’s what pisses me off….I’m the one writing this tripe, and even I feel obligated to add that in…and there is only one person, small person, specifically Boy # 3 that started this…sucks, I tell you, you know what else sucks…of course you don’t so let me fill you in…anyway where was I??? I’m not sure but I’ll restart my mental engine….this morning is not being particularly kind to me…. runny nose, puffy, watery eyes….I look like I am terminally ill. I should put up a sign warning the boys to stay away I feel like if I don’t warn them they could come in here and plop themselves in the middle of Typhoid Ruby’s personal germ tsunami, I can just feel those little bastard germies incubating in me right now.
And if those cooties don’t get me, the ones I caught yesterday will….I can say for sure where I picked up the coots they came at me from the Tater.
The germs are out to get me, when I have the luxury, I try and follow the advice I outlined above when I’m sick; I stay as motionless — and preferably unconscious — as possible for the duration of the illness. Personal hygiene can go to hell when I’m sick….showering, shaving, finding clean underwear… these are all niceties for people that are well. If I’m sniffly, sneezy, aching, coughing, and all-the-rest-of-that-shit miserable, then just let me sleep it off. I’ll worry about the funk when I can breathe again, dammit. Just leave me alone to sleep, rehydrate, and moan….but today I have to be functional, I have a commitment to fulfill and because I am me I will fulfill said commitment.
So that being said I’m hoping my immune system pulls some kind of miracle out of it’s ass and fights these ubergerms off. If I’m gonna be miserable it is not going to be because I’m laid up in bed with a Vodka IV, dammit. I want to be living the high life somewhere….sipping an Appletini, or shopping….shopping is always a cure-all…..I think I had a point in mind when I started this blog….where’d it go???